Yep I am in a bit of a quandary, for once I have things to say and my problem is that my thoughts just won't come together properly, this is not something I am used to.
For me writing down my thoughts has always been my solice, I am shit at telling people how I feel, I have never been able to express myself verbally in a way that the situation warrants. But my one saviour has always been the fact that what I can't say I can find a way to express myself in writing.
Why am I having this problem you may ask, well the answer is an easy one, I can no longer write as Lola!
There are many reason but the main two are; I no longer feel like Lola, haven't done for a very long time, and as such can no longer find the inspiration. Also and it's a biggy, I now know that the secrets out, someone who doesn't actually know me but knows of me, is well aware that I write this blog and who I really am. And because of this I can no longer express myself in the way I have in the past for fear of being judged, maybe that's the wrong term but certainly of someone making opinions about me that may not be entirely correct.
So for the sake of the tape as they say in The Bill I am not Lola, Lola was always a work of fiction designed with one purpose in mind, to put me back in the driving seat, to learn more about myself. Yes I had some fun, but innocent online fun. Thanks to this yes I learnt a lot about myself and what does it for me.
Ironically it is thanks to this blog that I have a smile on my face recently, Mr Delicious found me through the blog and look how well that's turned out. (Second and third times get the thumbs up as well). I took a chance, I let him into my real life, and thanks to that I am a little bit smiley at the moment, but now ironically he has bought the blog into real life as well!
Double irony was that the reason I found out, and it is is majorly ironic, the person who's friendship with him prompted my post about can men and women ever be friends, commented on that very same blog and in doing so made sure that I am aware that they know who I am. And as this effects my real life, the real me, who's a little unsure of herself, and concerns herself about what people think about me and how they may judge me, so for now I can't see how I can continue to express myself without worry of judgement!
Wednesday 23 June 2010
Sunday 30 May 2010
WHEN THE REALITY IS BETTER THAN THE FANTASY
Now that's not a statement I ever thought I'd make, for more than one reason!
Firstly, my imagination makes for some seriously naughty fantasy's. And secondly it's something I was starting to think would never happen.
But today I sit here and admit that sometimes the reality, it can be so much better than you could have imagined. Quality really is worth waiting for. And damn it's been a hell of a wait - 378 days later and oh it was worth the wait.
What is this reality that was so good you may ask? The answer to that can be covered by two words 'Mr Delicious'.
Maybe, just maybe, the wait is what made it so good, after all we have spent rather a lot of time building up to this, could possibly call it twelve months of foreplay!
Today I confess to being a fully fledged grinning idiot. Flashes of memory from yesterday, last night, and early this morning - oh yes there was quantity as well as quality, anyway flashes keep popping into my head and bang there's the grin.
All day the memory not only of what delights I enjoyed but reliving the feeling, sudden thoughts and hello definite tingling going on, in in a very nice way. Memories of his tongue working hard on my clit as he teased me with his fingers, my legs on his shoulders as his cock finally pushed inside me for the first time, the feeling of being completely filled with his somewhat awesome appendage. Even feeling his cum hot on my tits, not quite my face as he had been fantasising about for a while, but possibly a good idea the first time, because that would have most definitely messed up my hair!
A few more performances like that and he won't just have the title of the best sex you ever had without being in the room with the person. There is definitely a new contender for the Crown.
xxxx
Firstly, my imagination makes for some seriously naughty fantasy's. And secondly it's something I was starting to think would never happen.
But today I sit here and admit that sometimes the reality, it can be so much better than you could have imagined. Quality really is worth waiting for. And damn it's been a hell of a wait - 378 days later and oh it was worth the wait.
What is this reality that was so good you may ask? The answer to that can be covered by two words 'Mr Delicious'.
Maybe, just maybe, the wait is what made it so good, after all we have spent rather a lot of time building up to this, could possibly call it twelve months of foreplay!
Today I confess to being a fully fledged grinning idiot. Flashes of memory from yesterday, last night, and early this morning - oh yes there was quantity as well as quality, anyway flashes keep popping into my head and bang there's the grin.
All day the memory not only of what delights I enjoyed but reliving the feeling, sudden thoughts and hello definite tingling going on, in in a very nice way. Memories of his tongue working hard on my clit as he teased me with his fingers, my legs on his shoulders as his cock finally pushed inside me for the first time, the feeling of being completely filled with his somewhat awesome appendage. Even feeling his cum hot on my tits, not quite my face as he had been fantasising about for a while, but possibly a good idea the first time, because that would have most definitely messed up my hair!
A few more performances like that and he won't just have the title of the best sex you ever had without being in the room with the person. There is definitely a new contender for the Crown.
xxxx
Sunday 16 May 2010
JUST GOOD FRIENDS
Can a man and woman ever just be friends?
How does that work? How do you know someone that well and not ever have a sneaky feeling that you may slightly fancy them.
Mr Delicious has lots of female friends, friends that he is quite close to and it suddenly hit me, I don't have anyone in my life like that anymore, a male friend you fancy doesn't count and neither does one that you have shared bodily fluids with.
My person that would be my equivalent of him, well it was FBD (well was until I was a stupid woman who got drunk and crossed the line), God I hate the fact that most things seem to come back to him. I know I don't miss him in any other way, especially after the cock out on the sofa incident, but I miss having someone like him. We have been friends since I was 14 (believe me that's a lot of years) and I was going out with his younger brother.
Who could have known that a stupid mistake at a BBQ in August 2005 would make me regretful nearly five years later.
He knows so much about me, hell I even told him about one of my ex's having been in prison for attempted murder before I told any of my friends or family, why did I share this with him? Because I trusted his opinion. How stupid of me then only 12 months later to have been with him in my bed allowing him to do very dirty things with a vibrator! Did I allow him in to my life more than anyone else, because we were more than friends, perhaps more than I had before we had done the deed?
I wonder now if we had left it there whether we could have taken a step backwards and just got on with being mates. I know without a doubt that now that it is doubtful we could even be friends let alone be the kind of friends that we were before.
But it makes me wonder, before that night I had never, ever considered shagging him, I was as you will know if you have read earlier posts quite happy to be one of the few girls I knew that hadn't had the dubious honour of shagging him. If it hadn't been for copious amounts of alcohol it would never have happened. But now I wonder, did he secretly over all those years just want to be my friend to get in my knickers?
I've been thinking back today, about all my male friends over the years and what our friendships have actually been about, have I ever had a friendship with a bloke that didn't revolve around sexual attraction and if so why aren't we friends anymore.
Answer is of course yes, over the years I have had quite a few quite close male friends that I have not shagged, but how many of those were men that I have never once thought 'oh hello, yes please' about. Hell for a while I even shared a house with one of my male friends, and we had an absolute fucking ball, granted he shagged nearly everyone of my friends that walked through the door. An honour which was reciprocated by me with quite a few of his friends I must admit.
But the one male friend that readily springs to mind is Jim, and what happened to Jim? He ended up with and has since married one of my then best friends, I actually was the one that got them together. Why aren't we still as close as we were? Simple, even though for a long while she was my best friend, she still made sure once they were a serious couple, that me and him no longer had any time to just mess about and go to the pub, or have burping competitions in MacDonald's on a Sunday afternoon, whilst coming down from a particularly good Saturday night.
Even though she had never taken drugs in her entire life, and probably never would have if not for her desire to understand our friendship, she decided one Saturday night that she was going to do it, luckily she only took a little bit of speed, but it was a night I will never forget, she was off her head and he was angry, WITH ME.
The man who I had danced the night away with, who had been my dropping buddy back in the bad days of E's and illegal rave. Who had spent more than one lost weekend in my company. Who used to stay up all night with me, listening to the Charlatans and Stone Roses, talking the inevitable shit, that five minutes later you can't remember what it's all about. He had a go at me for allowing his girlfriend to take a little tiny bit of speed, I wouldn't mind but I wasn't even involved in her taking it, just had to look after her after she did!
That was the beginning of the end so to speak, they stopped staying at my house so much, found other 'couples' to go out with and I can't remember a time from that night to now, many, many years later where we have spent any time together without her in attendance.
I never want to be that woman, who can't handle the fact that a man can have a good female friend. Or at least I would hope I will never be that person, but I would like to think I am more understanding than that.
But looking back I realise that friendship was quite unique, yes I have had plenty of male friends, many of them who I have never even kissed let alone anything else, but did I fancy some of them? Yes. And more importantly did any of them ever fancy me, again I think that could be a yes.
The other side of the coin also is that a man with close women friends, how do you gain their approval, maybe the wrong word but the only one I can think of that is suitable. I have been there, no one but my BFF was good enough for my BBF. Blokes generally think that any women their mates come into contact with, are either a laugh, well fit, or have no opinion about them at all. But female friends, well believe me they can be a lot harder to convince.
I know it is possible for a man and woman to be friends without anything ever going on, but it still does feel odd that right now I don't have one. Maybe this is why I miss the best male friend I ever had, not for the mind blowing sex but for the fact that I don't have a male friend anymore that knows me better than some of my boyfriends have. Yes I have a male 'friend' who knows me pretty dammed well by now, and perhaps even knows stuff that I could never have shared with Jim or even FBD, but he doesn't count, why? Cos I fancy the pants off him and I most definitely intend on doing the deed with him A LOT!
xxxx
How does that work? How do you know someone that well and not ever have a sneaky feeling that you may slightly fancy them.
Mr Delicious has lots of female friends, friends that he is quite close to and it suddenly hit me, I don't have anyone in my life like that anymore, a male friend you fancy doesn't count and neither does one that you have shared bodily fluids with.
My person that would be my equivalent of him, well it was FBD (well was until I was a stupid woman who got drunk and crossed the line), God I hate the fact that most things seem to come back to him. I know I don't miss him in any other way, especially after the cock out on the sofa incident, but I miss having someone like him. We have been friends since I was 14 (believe me that's a lot of years) and I was going out with his younger brother.
Who could have known that a stupid mistake at a BBQ in August 2005 would make me regretful nearly five years later.
He knows so much about me, hell I even told him about one of my ex's having been in prison for attempted murder before I told any of my friends or family, why did I share this with him? Because I trusted his opinion. How stupid of me then only 12 months later to have been with him in my bed allowing him to do very dirty things with a vibrator! Did I allow him in to my life more than anyone else, because we were more than friends, perhaps more than I had before we had done the deed?
I wonder now if we had left it there whether we could have taken a step backwards and just got on with being mates. I know without a doubt that now that it is doubtful we could even be friends let alone be the kind of friends that we were before.
But it makes me wonder, before that night I had never, ever considered shagging him, I was as you will know if you have read earlier posts quite happy to be one of the few girls I knew that hadn't had the dubious honour of shagging him. If it hadn't been for copious amounts of alcohol it would never have happened. But now I wonder, did he secretly over all those years just want to be my friend to get in my knickers?
I've been thinking back today, about all my male friends over the years and what our friendships have actually been about, have I ever had a friendship with a bloke that didn't revolve around sexual attraction and if so why aren't we friends anymore.
Answer is of course yes, over the years I have had quite a few quite close male friends that I have not shagged, but how many of those were men that I have never once thought 'oh hello, yes please' about. Hell for a while I even shared a house with one of my male friends, and we had an absolute fucking ball, granted he shagged nearly everyone of my friends that walked through the door. An honour which was reciprocated by me with quite a few of his friends I must admit.
But the one male friend that readily springs to mind is Jim, and what happened to Jim? He ended up with and has since married one of my then best friends, I actually was the one that got them together. Why aren't we still as close as we were? Simple, even though for a long while she was my best friend, she still made sure once they were a serious couple, that me and him no longer had any time to just mess about and go to the pub, or have burping competitions in MacDonald's on a Sunday afternoon, whilst coming down from a particularly good Saturday night.
Even though she had never taken drugs in her entire life, and probably never would have if not for her desire to understand our friendship, she decided one Saturday night that she was going to do it, luckily she only took a little bit of speed, but it was a night I will never forget, she was off her head and he was angry, WITH ME.
The man who I had danced the night away with, who had been my dropping buddy back in the bad days of E's and illegal rave. Who had spent more than one lost weekend in my company. Who used to stay up all night with me, listening to the Charlatans and Stone Roses, talking the inevitable shit, that five minutes later you can't remember what it's all about. He had a go at me for allowing his girlfriend to take a little tiny bit of speed, I wouldn't mind but I wasn't even involved in her taking it, just had to look after her after she did!
That was the beginning of the end so to speak, they stopped staying at my house so much, found other 'couples' to go out with and I can't remember a time from that night to now, many, many years later where we have spent any time together without her in attendance.
I never want to be that woman, who can't handle the fact that a man can have a good female friend. Or at least I would hope I will never be that person, but I would like to think I am more understanding than that.
But looking back I realise that friendship was quite unique, yes I have had plenty of male friends, many of them who I have never even kissed let alone anything else, but did I fancy some of them? Yes. And more importantly did any of them ever fancy me, again I think that could be a yes.
The other side of the coin also is that a man with close women friends, how do you gain their approval, maybe the wrong word but the only one I can think of that is suitable. I have been there, no one but my BFF was good enough for my BBF. Blokes generally think that any women their mates come into contact with, are either a laugh, well fit, or have no opinion about them at all. But female friends, well believe me they can be a lot harder to convince.
I know it is possible for a man and woman to be friends without anything ever going on, but it still does feel odd that right now I don't have one. Maybe this is why I miss the best male friend I ever had, not for the mind blowing sex but for the fact that I don't have a male friend anymore that knows me better than some of my boyfriends have. Yes I have a male 'friend' who knows me pretty dammed well by now, and perhaps even knows stuff that I could never have shared with Jim or even FBD, but he doesn't count, why? Cos I fancy the pants off him and I most definitely intend on doing the deed with him A LOT!
xxxx
Friday 9 April 2010
I'VE TASTED THE MEDICINE AND IT'S BAD!
Yep I think I am currently experiencing what is commonly called a taste of my own medicine.
The penny finally dropped this week that the infuriating wait that is being enforced on me by Mr Delicious is no different to what I have been doing myself.
Since the beginning of Lola, surprisingly soon after the beginning actually. I was found by a young man who was looking for a lady who knew how to take control, (Mr Can a Woman Ever be Truly Dominant). This was well over a year ago and initially we exchanged lots of emails and after a long time progressed onto texts, for a while we were chatting on the phone quite a lot, but hey other things, or should that be other people caught my attention and it was just one of those things that fell by the wayside.
We still exchange the odd text and occasionally he gets very brave and try's to more or less dare me into meeting him. I call this his naughty boy routine, knowing damn well that he's hoping for a good telling off!
I don't why I have never agreed to meet him, well OK I kind of do,I realised that I'm not 100% sure that I can be what he wants me to be. Yes I can take charge in the bedroom, but I am a great believer in give and take when it comes to sex, could I take charge knowing that he is waiting for me to tell him exactly what to do and when. Call me silly but I would rather a man that knows exactly what to do without the need to be told. Maybe one day I will, after all the guy is pretty gorgeous and apart from the 'quirk' the kind of guy that I would usually look at and thing mmmm hello, we share a love of live music and a few other things!
So for now he's still waiting. But guess what, so am I.
I've tasted the medicine and there are few things I can think of in life that taste worse. But hey you never know maybe some new wonder drug will come along that makes the medicine not so bad to handle!
xxx
The penny finally dropped this week that the infuriating wait that is being enforced on me by Mr Delicious is no different to what I have been doing myself.
Since the beginning of Lola, surprisingly soon after the beginning actually. I was found by a young man who was looking for a lady who knew how to take control, (Mr Can a Woman Ever be Truly Dominant). This was well over a year ago and initially we exchanged lots of emails and after a long time progressed onto texts, for a while we were chatting on the phone quite a lot, but hey other things, or should that be other people caught my attention and it was just one of those things that fell by the wayside.
We still exchange the odd text and occasionally he gets very brave and try's to more or less dare me into meeting him. I call this his naughty boy routine, knowing damn well that he's hoping for a good telling off!
I don't why I have never agreed to meet him, well OK I kind of do,I realised that I'm not 100% sure that I can be what he wants me to be. Yes I can take charge in the bedroom, but I am a great believer in give and take when it comes to sex, could I take charge knowing that he is waiting for me to tell him exactly what to do and when. Call me silly but I would rather a man that knows exactly what to do without the need to be told. Maybe one day I will, after all the guy is pretty gorgeous and apart from the 'quirk' the kind of guy that I would usually look at and thing mmmm hello, we share a love of live music and a few other things!
So for now he's still waiting. But guess what, so am I.
I've tasted the medicine and there are few things I can think of in life that taste worse. But hey you never know maybe some new wonder drug will come along that makes the medicine not so bad to handle!
xxx
Wednesday 10 March 2010
FULL OF THE JOYS OF SPRING
It finally dawned on me 7am Monday morning, my lack of mojo is definitely linked to the weather!
One weekend of great weather, where I actually got the opportunity to go out in the sunshine and whoo hoo guess who woke up full of the joys of spring! (For that read as horny as hell)
As I lay in bed with the sun breaking through the blinds, I suddenly just felt good. I found myself wishing that a certain someone was with me to see in the morning in my favourite way.
What’s my favourite way to be woken up you may ask?
Well it’s long been a favourite of mine and on the rare occasion in the last few years that I’ve had the pleasure of waking up with someone I know well enough to know about it, it has never failed to wake me up without putting a huge smile on my face.
It’s one that you just can’t beat, waking up, still half asleep and feeling all drowsy and realising that what woke me up was someone slowly teasing my clit. Lying on my side with a man behind me his arm reaching round and slowly teasing me awake, feeling his rock hard cock pushing against me from behind as he carries on teasing, reaching further down and sliding a finger inside me teasing me, opening me up ready for his cock to slide slow and deep inside me.
What can I say but I am definitely a morning person!
Unfortunately, Monday morning I was all alone, but I really couldn't bear the idea of wasting it, not when that kind of urge has been absent for so long, it wasn't just a mild tingle, it was a full on god I need it now kind of feeling, the sort that no matter where you are you are going to find a way to have a play. So rather than waste the moment out came the toy box!
With a certain someone in mind I thought his favourite toy needed to come out to play, it’s been a while but on the rare occasion that we indulge in phone sex he loves it when I used my purple dildo, me imagining it’s him deep inside me and him being able to visualise what I’m doing (technology is a wonderful thing) what can I say, it’s an odd situation, but it works, boy does it work!
It wasn't quite the fantasy wake up call, no slow kisses on my neck, or feeling his cock slip into me slow and deep, finally waking me up fully. More a sleepy scramble for the box under the bed and rummaging about for the purple pussy pleaser, but once I was ready and I was rather ready, if you catch my drift, I treated myself to the full hard and deep treatment.
Did I care that I should have really been getting up and getting ready for work? NO. Did I think about the fact that if I got carried away I could in fact be very late for work? AGAIN NO.
All I did think about was that it felt good, OK it would have been even better with some male participation, but just knowing that I haven't lost my mojo after all. And best of all, what was going through my mind as I slowly fucked myself, not rushing it just enjoying the feeling of being filled with something solid, well for once I wasn't thinking about him standing watching me, this was no solo expedition, in my mind he was deep inside me, my hands were his hands.
I may have been alone but on Monday morning before work I fucked Mr Delicious!
xxx
Wednesday 3 March 2010
THE PAST DEFINATELY SHOULD BE LEFT THERE!
It's something I have long thought, but now I am certain. There's a reason why the past is in the past and not the present.
Recent events have strengthened this conviction yet again! I am actually quite proud of myself for the strength and resolve in this one. The one person in the whole world that could test this theory to it's extremes has certainly done that! It's made me realise that if I can resist that, I can do almost anything I set my mind to.
What is it they say, 'I am a strong confident woman, I can achieve anything my heart desires.'
What prompted this you may ask, three little letters that's what, FBD! Yep despite my whole never darken my doorstep email after Halloween, he has indeed darkened my doorstep again!
Imagine my surprise sitting there happily minding my own business on Wednesday night when my phone bleeps, and as one of my best friends had been sending me rude jokes all day I looked straight away.
(Woman goes to the Doctor's and says, 'I'm getting way too much discharge.' Doctor says 'Pop your knickers off and get up on the bed.' He pulls on his latex gloves, inserts 3 fingers into her vagina and asks 'How does that feel?' She replies 'Fucking lovely, but the discharge is in my ear')
So as you can imagine, I was kind of looking forward to what gem she had sent me to brighten up a boring evening. Instead of one of her extremely un PC jokes there was a sad smiley (well it would have been a sad smiley if blackberry's did them) and the words I MISS YOU, hope your well. Of course I had no idea who it was from because being a strong woman I had deleted his number the same day as the don't darken my door email. My initial thought was someone had sent it as a joke, so I had to reply and asked who it was and was it a wind up. To cut a long story short the reply came back, that it was him, and yet again he got upset that I had deleted his number.
We exchanged a few texts, just pleasantries. How are you? What you been up to? That kind of thing, nothing major I just thought it was weird. Went to bed and thought nothing of it. At no point did I think 'hello bad boy, whoopee some dirty sex is on the cards.' Which considering the lack of actual decent action is most worrying for me.
I have wondered a few times that if if this occasion ever arose, even more so given my current lack of dirty action, would I be the weak and easily influenced woman I have been in the past where he is concerned, but no, like I said, I was strong, no rude thoughts even entered my head. I have to admit my first thoughts was he's pissed, or been chatting with Charlie again.
As I said I went to bed and gave it no further thought. That is until Thursday night when he knocked on my door!
I was chatting to someone of facebook, sat there in my pj's, and there it was being a Thursday I thought it ws my rather elderly and somewhat bored neighbour knocking to remind me to put the bins out, but no there HE was larger than life and twice as ugly!
Talk about gobsmacked! I, me, that can talk for England was totally and utterly lost for words.
He waltzed in like none of the past few months (or should that be last year) had happened and said he had just finished at the gym was passing and thought it would be nice to say hello, talk about cliche!
I didn't know quite how to take it, or what to do! It wasn't pleasant it was just uncomfortable! Pretty soon, we were chatting about mutual friends and what each other had been up to, the kettle was put on and we settled down on the sofa's for a catch up. I was careful to make sure that I didn't sit on the same sofa as him, I didn't want to cath up THAT much.
I couldn't help it though and in no time I had lots of memories interrupting my thoughts. Being bent over the back of the sofa as he teased me with the tip of his cock before sliding it deep and hard inside me. Kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa sucking hard on his cock. So much had happened between us in my humble four walls.
Did the thought ever enter my head to give him a go just for old times sake? Erm yes, I may be strong but hey when a girls not getting any the opportunity of a bit of naughty with someone you know is a great shag is hard to resist.
But resist I did!
After about an hour I said that it was nice to have caught up with him, but that I ad things to get on with (Footloose was on Film 4) and he left. Which is a shocker seeing as it's the only time he has ever been in my house and we haven't had sex! I have to admit that after he had left I did sit there for quite a while thinking about the past and yes my thoughts may have been a little naughty, OK a lot naughty but hey every kind of naughty I know I learnt off him!
I finally made the realisation that there was a good reason he was the past on Friday, the invitation to come round and help him set up his new laptop arrived via text at about eight pm. Did I ever mention he is the least technological person i have ever met! So far during our friendship I have set up 2 computers for him, given him endless lessons on how itunes works and even helped him attach his new DVD player to his TV, simple stuff but he just doesn't get it!
So off I trundled round to his flat, truthfully thinking that he wanted me to help him set up his new laptop. First thing I noticed was that his bed was made all nice and neat, not that I went in his bedroom, but its a very small flat and the bedroom door was open! I did the usual set it all up and was getting ready to go when he kind of pounced, and when I say pounced I mean I looked round and he was sitting on the sofa with his cock out, in his hand!
God I was tempted, till he opened his gob that is a sentence I will never forget, 'Yeah, you've missed this haven't you?' of course said as he's slowly teasing the end of his cock. At that moment I looked at him and thought about it and realised do you know what I don't think I do miss you at all. Do I miss having great sex with someone who knows exactly what to do to make me cum so hard and quick my legs go all wobbly? That would be a yes. Hell I miss having any sex at all at the moment.
But do I miss him? NOPE! Definitely not, after all I hadn't been the one that was so desperate I had obviously text someone who had said emphatically they didn't want to see them again just to get his cock wet. There was no doubt in my mind that was all the last two days had been about.
Maybe I'm just cynical, maybe he did miss me, but somehow I doubt it!
Made me realise once and for all that the past really is best left there, no regrets, of which I admit there may have been the odd few, but there is most definitely a reason why he is my past. I walked out of the flat and didn't look back.
Recent events have strengthened this conviction yet again! I am actually quite proud of myself for the strength and resolve in this one. The one person in the whole world that could test this theory to it's extremes has certainly done that! It's made me realise that if I can resist that, I can do almost anything I set my mind to.
What is it they say, 'I am a strong confident woman, I can achieve anything my heart desires.'
What prompted this you may ask, three little letters that's what, FBD! Yep despite my whole never darken my doorstep email after Halloween, he has indeed darkened my doorstep again!
Imagine my surprise sitting there happily minding my own business on Wednesday night when my phone bleeps, and as one of my best friends had been sending me rude jokes all day I looked straight away.
(Woman goes to the Doctor's and says, 'I'm getting way too much discharge.' Doctor says 'Pop your knickers off and get up on the bed.' He pulls on his latex gloves, inserts 3 fingers into her vagina and asks 'How does that feel?' She replies 'Fucking lovely, but the discharge is in my ear')
So as you can imagine, I was kind of looking forward to what gem she had sent me to brighten up a boring evening. Instead of one of her extremely un PC jokes there was a sad smiley (well it would have been a sad smiley if blackberry's did them) and the words I MISS YOU, hope your well. Of course I had no idea who it was from because being a strong woman I had deleted his number the same day as the don't darken my door email. My initial thought was someone had sent it as a joke, so I had to reply and asked who it was and was it a wind up. To cut a long story short the reply came back, that it was him, and yet again he got upset that I had deleted his number.
We exchanged a few texts, just pleasantries. How are you? What you been up to? That kind of thing, nothing major I just thought it was weird. Went to bed and thought nothing of it. At no point did I think 'hello bad boy, whoopee some dirty sex is on the cards.' Which considering the lack of actual decent action is most worrying for me.
I have wondered a few times that if if this occasion ever arose, even more so given my current lack of dirty action, would I be the weak and easily influenced woman I have been in the past where he is concerned, but no, like I said, I was strong, no rude thoughts even entered my head. I have to admit my first thoughts was he's pissed, or been chatting with Charlie again.
As I said I went to bed and gave it no further thought. That is until Thursday night when he knocked on my door!
I was chatting to someone of facebook, sat there in my pj's, and there it was being a Thursday I thought it ws my rather elderly and somewhat bored neighbour knocking to remind me to put the bins out, but no there HE was larger than life and twice as ugly!
Talk about gobsmacked! I, me, that can talk for England was totally and utterly lost for words.
He waltzed in like none of the past few months (or should that be last year) had happened and said he had just finished at the gym was passing and thought it would be nice to say hello, talk about cliche!
I didn't know quite how to take it, or what to do! It wasn't pleasant it was just uncomfortable! Pretty soon, we were chatting about mutual friends and what each other had been up to, the kettle was put on and we settled down on the sofa's for a catch up. I was careful to make sure that I didn't sit on the same sofa as him, I didn't want to cath up THAT much.
I couldn't help it though and in no time I had lots of memories interrupting my thoughts. Being bent over the back of the sofa as he teased me with the tip of his cock before sliding it deep and hard inside me. Kneeling on the floor in front of the sofa sucking hard on his cock. So much had happened between us in my humble four walls.
Did the thought ever enter my head to give him a go just for old times sake? Erm yes, I may be strong but hey when a girls not getting any the opportunity of a bit of naughty with someone you know is a great shag is hard to resist.
But resist I did!
After about an hour I said that it was nice to have caught up with him, but that I ad things to get on with (Footloose was on Film 4) and he left. Which is a shocker seeing as it's the only time he has ever been in my house and we haven't had sex! I have to admit that after he had left I did sit there for quite a while thinking about the past and yes my thoughts may have been a little naughty, OK a lot naughty but hey every kind of naughty I know I learnt off him!
I finally made the realisation that there was a good reason he was the past on Friday, the invitation to come round and help him set up his new laptop arrived via text at about eight pm. Did I ever mention he is the least technological person i have ever met! So far during our friendship I have set up 2 computers for him, given him endless lessons on how itunes works and even helped him attach his new DVD player to his TV, simple stuff but he just doesn't get it!
So off I trundled round to his flat, truthfully thinking that he wanted me to help him set up his new laptop. First thing I noticed was that his bed was made all nice and neat, not that I went in his bedroom, but its a very small flat and the bedroom door was open! I did the usual set it all up and was getting ready to go when he kind of pounced, and when I say pounced I mean I looked round and he was sitting on the sofa with his cock out, in his hand!
God I was tempted, till he opened his gob that is a sentence I will never forget, 'Yeah, you've missed this haven't you?' of course said as he's slowly teasing the end of his cock. At that moment I looked at him and thought about it and realised do you know what I don't think I do miss you at all. Do I miss having great sex with someone who knows exactly what to do to make me cum so hard and quick my legs go all wobbly? That would be a yes. Hell I miss having any sex at all at the moment.
But do I miss him? NOPE! Definitely not, after all I hadn't been the one that was so desperate I had obviously text someone who had said emphatically they didn't want to see them again just to get his cock wet. There was no doubt in my mind that was all the last two days had been about.
Maybe I'm just cynical, maybe he did miss me, but somehow I doubt it!
Made me realise once and for all that the past really is best left there, no regrets, of which I admit there may have been the odd few, but there is most definitely a reason why he is my past. I walked out of the flat and didn't look back.
Friday 19 February 2010
MY DISAPPEARING MOJO!
So I have mentioned Mr Delicious before, (in rather a lot of blog posts actually) and he's someone the enters my thoughts quite a lot, probably more than he should in fact, sorry did I say thoughts I think that should have been fantasies!
For a while now I've been saying I would write a special blog entry just for him, maybe even about him. But seeing as I haven't actually had the pleasure of him in my bed YET, I can't write from experience, but maybe the best place for him is in my head, cos let's face it in my head he's amazing!
My problem now is this, it's been so long since I had a decent shag, that I have kind of forgotten what it's all about, I can only fantasize about solo sexploits because that's all I seem to know these days.
So my question is how can I write the perfect fantasy for him, outlining what I imagine doing with/to him when I can't remember what good sex is!
In keeping with this lack of company most of my fantasies seem to revolve around him watching these days which lets face it a hot blooded male isn't actually going to do if it's there in front of him, unless that's his particular quirk of course. In fact I know a couple of people that would be more than happy to be ordered to stand at the end of the bed and watch, but he's definitely not one of them. On more than one occasion he has made it perfectly clear that he's master in the bedroom, something which for once I think I would be more than happy to go along with.
My mojo is fast disappearing and the longer this drought goes on the worse it gets, is it linked to his seemingly misplaced mojo, I think it could be down to the fact that at the moment I feel like I need to help him find it and that doesn't seem to work and I really cant think of anyway of being that dirty naughty mix that first caught his eye. I, that is the real me, doesn't seem to do it for him anymore and that knowledge seems to have sent the part of me that is 'Lola' running for the hills!
I started thinking about it last night, I was thinking about it so much in fact that I got a little bit horny and had a little session with the purple pussy pleaser, apparently he likes what I do with that one and so yes I was thinking about him). It suddenly dawned on me that I can't remember what it feels like to have someone slide their fingers inside me. What it feels like to have a tongue flick my clit, or my nipple. To cum on a mans tongue as his fingers fuck me hard.
Perfect Fantasy is OK for a while but when it starts to effect your mojo fantasy then doesn't seem enough!
xxxx
For a while now I've been saying I would write a special blog entry just for him, maybe even about him. But seeing as I haven't actually had the pleasure of him in my bed YET, I can't write from experience, but maybe the best place for him is in my head, cos let's face it in my head he's amazing!
My problem now is this, it's been so long since I had a decent shag, that I have kind of forgotten what it's all about, I can only fantasize about solo sexploits because that's all I seem to know these days.
So my question is how can I write the perfect fantasy for him, outlining what I imagine doing with/to him when I can't remember what good sex is!
In keeping with this lack of company most of my fantasies seem to revolve around him watching these days which lets face it a hot blooded male isn't actually going to do if it's there in front of him, unless that's his particular quirk of course. In fact I know a couple of people that would be more than happy to be ordered to stand at the end of the bed and watch, but he's definitely not one of them. On more than one occasion he has made it perfectly clear that he's master in the bedroom, something which for once I think I would be more than happy to go along with.
My mojo is fast disappearing and the longer this drought goes on the worse it gets, is it linked to his seemingly misplaced mojo, I think it could be down to the fact that at the moment I feel like I need to help him find it and that doesn't seem to work and I really cant think of anyway of being that dirty naughty mix that first caught his eye. I, that is the real me, doesn't seem to do it for him anymore and that knowledge seems to have sent the part of me that is 'Lola' running for the hills!
I started thinking about it last night, I was thinking about it so much in fact that I got a little bit horny and had a little session with the purple pussy pleaser, apparently he likes what I do with that one and so yes I was thinking about him). It suddenly dawned on me that I can't remember what it feels like to have someone slide their fingers inside me. What it feels like to have a tongue flick my clit, or my nipple. To cum on a mans tongue as his fingers fuck me hard.
Perfect Fantasy is OK for a while but when it starts to effect your mojo fantasy then doesn't seem enough!
xxxx
Sunday 14 February 2010
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY
The pale weak sunshine creeps through the curtains rays of light hitting the bed and subtly lighting the room, I'm laying in bed, my long brunette hair spread across the white pillows, I have one leg hanging out of the duvet, my red toe nails glinting in the light.
As I wake and start to open my eyes, something immediately catches my eye a splash of red in the sea of white cotton, placed on the other pillow is a single red rose, a drop of dew glistening on its rich red petals. Reaching over I pick it up, bringing it close to my face so that I can smell its strong sweet perfume. From my nose I run it across my lips enjoying the rich velvety texture. Lost in my thoughts I continue to doze clutching my beautiful surprise in my hand the sound of movement disturbs me and I wake slightly knowing that you are coming back to the bed. Anticipating the chance of some slow hot Sunday morning loving, I open my eyes and begin to give you my sweetest come and get me sexy smile when I notice you are holding a tray, thinking that you have bought me a cup of tea, I start to sit up and realise that on the tray is a bottle of champagne two glasses and some small bowls. The smile grows in anticipation of some extra special treats.
Sitting up in the bed my hair falls over my shoulders, rippling down to frame my tits, the duvet slipping slightly, my nipples are just peaking out, you know that I have a good idea of what’s to come as you notice they are already hard.
As you place the tray on the table I see that the bowls are filled with my favourite things, strawberries, cream and most importantly some melted chocolate, a real feast for my breakfast. You slide back into bed with me, "Good Morning beautiful, Happy Valentine’s Day Gorgeous" you lean over and kiss my lips, gently at first and then sliding your tongue into my mouth and just grazing my tongue with yours.
Breaking away from the kiss leaving me wanting more you turn and lean back towards the table, grabbing the bottle and one of the glasses, putting it into my hand you pour the golden fizz into the glass, the flute fills quickly, bubbles exploding over the rim of the glass the frothy bubbles run down my hand and drips down on to my chest, I gasp as the coldness hits my bare skin and then sigh as you lean over and follow its trail with your tongue, pausing to gently suck on my nipples, your tongue flicking over my rock hard tips, the sensation immediately having the desired effect as I feel my pussy getting wetter, in anticipation.
Breaking away from my nipples, you kiss me again and the moving the tray closer you start to feed me the delicious fruit dipping it in the chocolate and cream before teasing my lips with it as you pop it in my mouth. Grabbing your hand hold it there as I run my tongue down your sticky fingers, then sliding the end of each finger into my hot waiting mouth, sucking off the gooey chocolate off, using your fingers as a way of giving you a taste of what is to come.
Drops of chocolate, cream and fruit juices are dripping onto our bodies, any thoughts of the crisp white sheets forgotten as we start to use out fingers and tongues to lick the mess off instead.
Pushing me back against the pillows you dip the tips of your fingers intothe bowl of chocolate, and slowly run your fingers round my nipples, teasing them, watching as they get harder and harder, till you can’t hold back anymore and you lean forward and start licking them clean. From my nipples you start to work your way down my body with your tongue. My eyes are closed enjoying the sensation of not know what you are going to do next.
Taking a large chocolate covered strawberry you begin to trail it over my body, following it with your tongue, soon I am writhing and moaning desperate for you to touch me more intimately, to plunge your fingers or tongue inside me or to run your tongue over my clit in the way that you know I love, but you do neither. Instead taking the strawberry and circling my clit with it, pushing it harder so that the juices from it start to mingle with my own wetness. Seeing the flush of excitement spreading across my chest you slide one finger inside me, continuing to rub the fruit over my clit.
I gasp I'm so turned on that just that small penetration has me near to cuming.
Smiling at me you push the strawberry harder against my clit, mashing it up slightly with the force, sliding your finger out of my wetness you swap them over and you push the entire strawberry just inside my hot wet pussy, as your finger starts circling my clit. As you push it deeper inside me, the juices start to run out of me pink and sticky, you can’t resist and need to get a taste of my wetness mixed with the strawberry and lowering your head wherever the juice runs you follow it with your tongue.
I grab your head and pulling it against me hard; you get the idea and start to thrust your tongue into me, pushing the strawberry further and further into me. Your tongue is thrusting inside my pussy, my hands on your head and my legs spread wide,
“ah babe” I cry out “please, I need to cum”.
I'm ready to cum, and your cock is so hard it’s throbbing aching to slide inside my wet stick pussy, but you don’t want to cum yet desperate as you are to fuck me, you want to make me cum, over and over again, watching my face as my pussy gets wetter and wetter, the flush of orgasm spreading over my body.
“Do you like your rose?” you ask me, “Mmm yes, I love it, it’s so lovely, just my favorite shade of red.”
Reaching over you pull the long stem out of my hand and start trailing the flower over my body, its velvety texture caressing my body, over my nipples and down the centre of my rib cage towards my pussy. You by pass it and trail it across my thighs. Up and down my legs, teasing my skin, driving me wild with desire, you trail it up the inside of my thighs almost all the way to my pussy but again bypassing it and trailing it back up my stomach.
By now my breathing is so heavy and I'm moaning really loud.
“ah please baby I need to cum so bad have I got to beg you, please, please, I’m so close,”
I know that if you were just to put a finger inside me I'd start to cum so hard, I can feel the strawberry inside me teasing all my nerve endings. Your laying by my side and you trail your hand up my thigh, your fingers sliding towards my hot wet pussy, you avoid my clit and slide two fingers deep inside, it’s just what I needed to push me over the edge and as I start to cum, my pussy contracting hard on your fingers, juices from my pussy and the strawberry are running all over your hand and down my thighs.
Pull your fingers out of me you start to run them over my nipples, the juice from the strawberry darkening them and making them more prominent. You slide your fingers into my mouth. “Lick them clean” you tell me.
Without hesitation I run my tongue up and down your fingers, mimicking what I had already done with the chocolate sucking hard on them, wishing that it was your rock hard cock.
Its too much for you, you want it to be your cock in my mouth as well but you also want it to be covered in juices, both mine and strawberry.
Moving over you pull my legs up onto your shoulders and slide your cock straight into me all the way in, lifting one of my legs up even more so that you can get in really, really deep. Thrusting harder and harder into me, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to cuming, so as suddenly as you thrust into me you pull out, moving up my body so that your cock is level with my face.
Looking at it, I can see bits of strawberry smeared on it as it glistens with my juices. I can’t wait to get it in my mouth, as I lean forward I have a thought, reaching over I take a big gulp of my champagne, looking into your eyes. “Mmmm I love champagne with my strawberries” I say as I lean forward and let a little bit dribble over your cock, its cold but feels so, so good, swallowing the champagne in my mouth I flick my tongue out and lick the end of your cock, it’s so good.
Taking another l sip I slide your cock into my mouth, you groan as the bubbles start fizzing, stimulating your cock, increasing the pleasure, it feels so good as I start you suck harder, wrapping my hand round the base of it, starting to wank it hard into my mouth. You desperately want to cum, I increase the pressure, sucking harder and harder, you can’t hold on anymore, you can feel it rising knowing that you are about to explode, I can feel your balls getting tighter and tighter and know what you really want keeping up the pressure with my hand, and pulling back slightly with my mouth I feel your hands sliding into my hair positioning yourself in front of my face, as the first salty drop hits my tongue you pull back pushing my hand out of the way and taking over aiming your hot sticky appreciation at my face, watching as it decorates my beautiful face, dripping down splashes on my chest, glistening in my hair, as you fall back on your heels gasping
xxxxx
As I wake and start to open my eyes, something immediately catches my eye a splash of red in the sea of white cotton, placed on the other pillow is a single red rose, a drop of dew glistening on its rich red petals. Reaching over I pick it up, bringing it close to my face so that I can smell its strong sweet perfume. From my nose I run it across my lips enjoying the rich velvety texture. Lost in my thoughts I continue to doze clutching my beautiful surprise in my hand the sound of movement disturbs me and I wake slightly knowing that you are coming back to the bed. Anticipating the chance of some slow hot Sunday morning loving, I open my eyes and begin to give you my sweetest come and get me sexy smile when I notice you are holding a tray, thinking that you have bought me a cup of tea, I start to sit up and realise that on the tray is a bottle of champagne two glasses and some small bowls. The smile grows in anticipation of some extra special treats.
Sitting up in the bed my hair falls over my shoulders, rippling down to frame my tits, the duvet slipping slightly, my nipples are just peaking out, you know that I have a good idea of what’s to come as you notice they are already hard.
As you place the tray on the table I see that the bowls are filled with my favourite things, strawberries, cream and most importantly some melted chocolate, a real feast for my breakfast. You slide back into bed with me, "Good Morning beautiful, Happy Valentine’s Day Gorgeous" you lean over and kiss my lips, gently at first and then sliding your tongue into my mouth and just grazing my tongue with yours.
Breaking away from the kiss leaving me wanting more you turn and lean back towards the table, grabbing the bottle and one of the glasses, putting it into my hand you pour the golden fizz into the glass, the flute fills quickly, bubbles exploding over the rim of the glass the frothy bubbles run down my hand and drips down on to my chest, I gasp as the coldness hits my bare skin and then sigh as you lean over and follow its trail with your tongue, pausing to gently suck on my nipples, your tongue flicking over my rock hard tips, the sensation immediately having the desired effect as I feel my pussy getting wetter, in anticipation.
Breaking away from my nipples, you kiss me again and the moving the tray closer you start to feed me the delicious fruit dipping it in the chocolate and cream before teasing my lips with it as you pop it in my mouth. Grabbing your hand hold it there as I run my tongue down your sticky fingers, then sliding the end of each finger into my hot waiting mouth, sucking off the gooey chocolate off, using your fingers as a way of giving you a taste of what is to come.
Drops of chocolate, cream and fruit juices are dripping onto our bodies, any thoughts of the crisp white sheets forgotten as we start to use out fingers and tongues to lick the mess off instead.
Pushing me back against the pillows you dip the tips of your fingers intothe bowl of chocolate, and slowly run your fingers round my nipples, teasing them, watching as they get harder and harder, till you can’t hold back anymore and you lean forward and start licking them clean. From my nipples you start to work your way down my body with your tongue. My eyes are closed enjoying the sensation of not know what you are going to do next.
Taking a large chocolate covered strawberry you begin to trail it over my body, following it with your tongue, soon I am writhing and moaning desperate for you to touch me more intimately, to plunge your fingers or tongue inside me or to run your tongue over my clit in the way that you know I love, but you do neither. Instead taking the strawberry and circling my clit with it, pushing it harder so that the juices from it start to mingle with my own wetness. Seeing the flush of excitement spreading across my chest you slide one finger inside me, continuing to rub the fruit over my clit.
I gasp I'm so turned on that just that small penetration has me near to cuming.
Smiling at me you push the strawberry harder against my clit, mashing it up slightly with the force, sliding your finger out of my wetness you swap them over and you push the entire strawberry just inside my hot wet pussy, as your finger starts circling my clit. As you push it deeper inside me, the juices start to run out of me pink and sticky, you can’t resist and need to get a taste of my wetness mixed with the strawberry and lowering your head wherever the juice runs you follow it with your tongue.
I grab your head and pulling it against me hard; you get the idea and start to thrust your tongue into me, pushing the strawberry further and further into me. Your tongue is thrusting inside my pussy, my hands on your head and my legs spread wide,
“ah babe” I cry out “please, I need to cum”.
I'm ready to cum, and your cock is so hard it’s throbbing aching to slide inside my wet stick pussy, but you don’t want to cum yet desperate as you are to fuck me, you want to make me cum, over and over again, watching my face as my pussy gets wetter and wetter, the flush of orgasm spreading over my body.
“Do you like your rose?” you ask me, “Mmm yes, I love it, it’s so lovely, just my favorite shade of red.”
Reaching over you pull the long stem out of my hand and start trailing the flower over my body, its velvety texture caressing my body, over my nipples and down the centre of my rib cage towards my pussy. You by pass it and trail it across my thighs. Up and down my legs, teasing my skin, driving me wild with desire, you trail it up the inside of my thighs almost all the way to my pussy but again bypassing it and trailing it back up my stomach.
By now my breathing is so heavy and I'm moaning really loud.
“ah please baby I need to cum so bad have I got to beg you, please, please, I’m so close,”
I know that if you were just to put a finger inside me I'd start to cum so hard, I can feel the strawberry inside me teasing all my nerve endings. Your laying by my side and you trail your hand up my thigh, your fingers sliding towards my hot wet pussy, you avoid my clit and slide two fingers deep inside, it’s just what I needed to push me over the edge and as I start to cum, my pussy contracting hard on your fingers, juices from my pussy and the strawberry are running all over your hand and down my thighs.
Pull your fingers out of me you start to run them over my nipples, the juice from the strawberry darkening them and making them more prominent. You slide your fingers into my mouth. “Lick them clean” you tell me.
Without hesitation I run my tongue up and down your fingers, mimicking what I had already done with the chocolate sucking hard on them, wishing that it was your rock hard cock.
Its too much for you, you want it to be your cock in my mouth as well but you also want it to be covered in juices, both mine and strawberry.
Moving over you pull my legs up onto your shoulders and slide your cock straight into me all the way in, lifting one of my legs up even more so that you can get in really, really deep. Thrusting harder and harder into me, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to cuming, so as suddenly as you thrust into me you pull out, moving up my body so that your cock is level with my face.
Looking at it, I can see bits of strawberry smeared on it as it glistens with my juices. I can’t wait to get it in my mouth, as I lean forward I have a thought, reaching over I take a big gulp of my champagne, looking into your eyes. “Mmmm I love champagne with my strawberries” I say as I lean forward and let a little bit dribble over your cock, its cold but feels so, so good, swallowing the champagne in my mouth I flick my tongue out and lick the end of your cock, it’s so good.
Taking another l sip I slide your cock into my mouth, you groan as the bubbles start fizzing, stimulating your cock, increasing the pleasure, it feels so good as I start you suck harder, wrapping my hand round the base of it, starting to wank it hard into my mouth. You desperately want to cum, I increase the pressure, sucking harder and harder, you can’t hold on anymore, you can feel it rising knowing that you are about to explode, I can feel your balls getting tighter and tighter and know what you really want keeping up the pressure with my hand, and pulling back slightly with my mouth I feel your hands sliding into my hair positioning yourself in front of my face, as the first salty drop hits my tongue you pull back pushing my hand out of the way and taking over aiming your hot sticky appreciation at my face, watching as it decorates my beautiful face, dripping down splashes on my chest, glistening in my hair, as you fall back on your heels gasping
xxxxx
Monday 8 February 2010
IS PORN REALLY THAT BIG A PROBLEM?
I am the first to admit that I love porn, always have, more than likely always will.
I'm not ashamed to admit it, we all watch it or read it, but is it getting a little bit too much?
I can quite clearly remember sneaking into my older brother's bedroom and looking at his little stash of mags under his bed. But back then porn mags were just women with what now, in these days of waxing seem scarily hairy pussies. Oh and tits, porn mags were strictly for men's pleasure only, and pleasure in the most prudish of terms by today's standards.
I always wondered where my affection for girl on girl porn comes from and a friend who recently trained as a relationship counsellor and sex therapist told me it was because of this. We associate our sexual feelings and behaviours to the things that first stimulated us in a sexual way as well as our first sexual encounters.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm in no way inclined to go girl on girl myself, I am definitely a worshipper at the alter of the cock, but if I'm in the mood for a indulgent afternoon or evening to myself (for that read mammoth masturbation session) the thing that really sets my pulse racing is a little girl on girl action!
The fact that it turns me on, doesn't mean that I am a lesbian, it just means that looking at it turns me on, but when I am that turned on I don't want to re-enact whats on the screen, I want to get dirty with a rampant cock (preferably one that measures up to a can of fosters).
As you may guess this is another post in reaction to another conversation with some friends, yes, me and the girlie's have been talking sex again!
With our new on site fount of knowledge when it comes to all things sexual, conversations have led us up avenue's that we possibly previously hadn't explored! But then again maybe not, there's not much we don't talk about, it's just now we can talk about it with new insight.
All of us have helped in our own way, providing information to help her along through her training. The way I see it, none of us should ever have a sexual problem ever again, although how much more of our inane questions she can put up with I'm not sure. I mean hell, if I was to start discussing with her some of the little 'quirks' I have come across in the course of being 'Lola' she would be kept busy for the next 6 months, or maybe make that a year!
My problem is this, whilst I am a lover of porn, I also see it's downsides. It's a very emotive subject, with everybody having varying opinions. Having experienced first hand (Mr X and his little floppy problem) I now realise that although it can be harmless and great fun, it also has it's downsides.
Apparently we are getting to the point where 'normal' just doesn't do it for us anymore, aparently 'de-sensitisation' is the correct term. Weird word but I promise you it's real.
It would seem that people are watching more and more extreme porn and this is meaning that when it comes down to the real thing, us mere mortals just don't do it for them anymore!
Recently I was reading an interview in a magazine with a marriage guidance counsellor, who specialised in couples with sexual problems and it gave me a little bit of a shock I can tell you.
The main reason that couples have sexually related problems is the fact that porn has become so readily available. And I'm not just talking the sort of porn we all used to get a hold of when I was a teenager. No more is porn just reserved to tits and pussy in a top shelf magazine, or just a couple doing run of the mill one-on-one sex with the occasional bit of girl on girl action in a much copied VHS that got passed around everyone.
Thanks to the Internet, anyone in the space of a few short minutes can access any kind of porn they like. People that perhaps only ever thought about things in their heads can now look at their particular little 'quirk' online and find other people into the same thing.
The other day I heard about one such thing it's called the 'Hairy Mary Appreciation Society' whats it about? It's for men who like their women hairy, and we're not just talking men that like a lady to have a little bit more than a thin line pointing the way to the warm wet heaven they are lusting after, we are talking men that want a full on 1970's bush, hairy legs, armpits the lot. I've always thought each to their own, and if that's what floats their boat then why not.
But it would seem that this being readily available is ruining the Country's sex lives.
One big concern I have with porn on the net is that it's not just adults that watch it, and young girls and lads are growing up thinking that's what sex is actually all about, ask your average 15 year old these days and they seem to think that everything they see is what your average everyday couple are up to. Girls feel like they have to do things cos that's whats expected. AND ITS JUST NOT REAL!
After all anyone who's ever had a little play with a video camera, knows that real sex, well it looks nothing like porn sex! No-one I've ever met would be happy for people to watch their performance complete with dodgy camera angles, love handles and worst of all the cum face! You know what I mean ladies, looking up into a dodgy cum face can all but spoil the moment for you when you look up and your sexy beast is gurning more than a raver who's dropped three E's!
Now surprise surprise, I may in the past of produced the odd video for special some one's and boy does it take time, stop, start, stop, start. You get carried away and get into what your doing, then you realise that then last 2 minutes got missed off because you accidentally pressed pause.
Recently at work we had a client who calls herself a TV Producer (for TV Producer read Producer of Porn) on the one hand I applaud her she also has a sideline company that takes women and makes them feel sexy again no matter what their size, shape, looks, she helps them find their good points and emphasise them and them sends them away with amazing photos that help to re-build their confidence and help them find the inner foxxy lady. However on the other hand she makes porn that conforms to the norm skinny peroxide blonde's with fake boobs, Hollywood waxes and bleached bum holes.
However I couldn't help but be intrigued and she had me in stitches when we were having a quiet girly chat about how long it actually takes to produce a decent bit of porn! Like the male star she uses who is hung like a horse but can only stay hard if whilst he is fucking some bleach blonde totty, a hot boy is standing not more than a few feet away stroking his equally impressive cock ready to give it to him as soon as he finishes. Just proves my point real sex just isn't porn sex.
Does that mean I'm going to stop watching it? HELL NO!
Will I stop watching it with company to shall we say, set the mood? Ermm again HELL NO!
I'm not ashamed to admit it, we all watch it or read it, but is it getting a little bit too much?
I can quite clearly remember sneaking into my older brother's bedroom and looking at his little stash of mags under his bed. But back then porn mags were just women with what now, in these days of waxing seem scarily hairy pussies. Oh and tits, porn mags were strictly for men's pleasure only, and pleasure in the most prudish of terms by today's standards.
I always wondered where my affection for girl on girl porn comes from and a friend who recently trained as a relationship counsellor and sex therapist told me it was because of this. We associate our sexual feelings and behaviours to the things that first stimulated us in a sexual way as well as our first sexual encounters.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm in no way inclined to go girl on girl myself, I am definitely a worshipper at the alter of the cock, but if I'm in the mood for a indulgent afternoon or evening to myself (for that read mammoth masturbation session) the thing that really sets my pulse racing is a little girl on girl action!
The fact that it turns me on, doesn't mean that I am a lesbian, it just means that looking at it turns me on, but when I am that turned on I don't want to re-enact whats on the screen, I want to get dirty with a rampant cock (preferably one that measures up to a can of fosters).
As you may guess this is another post in reaction to another conversation with some friends, yes, me and the girlie's have been talking sex again!
With our new on site fount of knowledge when it comes to all things sexual, conversations have led us up avenue's that we possibly previously hadn't explored! But then again maybe not, there's not much we don't talk about, it's just now we can talk about it with new insight.
All of us have helped in our own way, providing information to help her along through her training. The way I see it, none of us should ever have a sexual problem ever again, although how much more of our inane questions she can put up with I'm not sure. I mean hell, if I was to start discussing with her some of the little 'quirks' I have come across in the course of being 'Lola' she would be kept busy for the next 6 months, or maybe make that a year!
My problem is this, whilst I am a lover of porn, I also see it's downsides. It's a very emotive subject, with everybody having varying opinions. Having experienced first hand (Mr X and his little floppy problem) I now realise that although it can be harmless and great fun, it also has it's downsides.
Apparently we are getting to the point where 'normal' just doesn't do it for us anymore, aparently 'de-sensitisation' is the correct term. Weird word but I promise you it's real.
It would seem that people are watching more and more extreme porn and this is meaning that when it comes down to the real thing, us mere mortals just don't do it for them anymore!
Recently I was reading an interview in a magazine with a marriage guidance counsellor, who specialised in couples with sexual problems and it gave me a little bit of a shock I can tell you.
The main reason that couples have sexually related problems is the fact that porn has become so readily available. And I'm not just talking the sort of porn we all used to get a hold of when I was a teenager. No more is porn just reserved to tits and pussy in a top shelf magazine, or just a couple doing run of the mill one-on-one sex with the occasional bit of girl on girl action in a much copied VHS that got passed around everyone.
Thanks to the Internet, anyone in the space of a few short minutes can access any kind of porn they like. People that perhaps only ever thought about things in their heads can now look at their particular little 'quirk' online and find other people into the same thing.
The other day I heard about one such thing it's called the 'Hairy Mary Appreciation Society' whats it about? It's for men who like their women hairy, and we're not just talking men that like a lady to have a little bit more than a thin line pointing the way to the warm wet heaven they are lusting after, we are talking men that want a full on 1970's bush, hairy legs, armpits the lot. I've always thought each to their own, and if that's what floats their boat then why not.
But it would seem that this being readily available is ruining the Country's sex lives.
One big concern I have with porn on the net is that it's not just adults that watch it, and young girls and lads are growing up thinking that's what sex is actually all about, ask your average 15 year old these days and they seem to think that everything they see is what your average everyday couple are up to. Girls feel like they have to do things cos that's whats expected. AND ITS JUST NOT REAL!
After all anyone who's ever had a little play with a video camera, knows that real sex, well it looks nothing like porn sex! No-one I've ever met would be happy for people to watch their performance complete with dodgy camera angles, love handles and worst of all the cum face! You know what I mean ladies, looking up into a dodgy cum face can all but spoil the moment for you when you look up and your sexy beast is gurning more than a raver who's dropped three E's!
Now surprise surprise, I may in the past of produced the odd video for special some one's and boy does it take time, stop, start, stop, start. You get carried away and get into what your doing, then you realise that then last 2 minutes got missed off because you accidentally pressed pause.
Recently at work we had a client who calls herself a TV Producer (for TV Producer read Producer of Porn) on the one hand I applaud her she also has a sideline company that takes women and makes them feel sexy again no matter what their size, shape, looks, she helps them find their good points and emphasise them and them sends them away with amazing photos that help to re-build their confidence and help them find the inner foxxy lady. However on the other hand she makes porn that conforms to the norm skinny peroxide blonde's with fake boobs, Hollywood waxes and bleached bum holes.
However I couldn't help but be intrigued and she had me in stitches when we were having a quiet girly chat about how long it actually takes to produce a decent bit of porn! Like the male star she uses who is hung like a horse but can only stay hard if whilst he is fucking some bleach blonde totty, a hot boy is standing not more than a few feet away stroking his equally impressive cock ready to give it to him as soon as he finishes. Just proves my point real sex just isn't porn sex.
Does that mean I'm going to stop watching it? HELL NO!
Will I stop watching it with company to shall we say, set the mood? Ermm again HELL NO!
Tuesday 2 February 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOLA
Yes Lola has actually been my alter ego now for a year, 2nd of Feb isn't my birthday it's my anniversary, but I thought it kind of fitting to celebrate it in some way it's a kind of birthday, one year ago Lola was 'born' for want of a better word.
To mark that milestone I have made a big decision. It's been a year, it's been fun, but I think the fun has to end at some point.
After all no one wants to be the last person to leave the party do they!
I think it's time for this party to end, sooner rather than later Lola has to go, not completely this blog will stay - how else will I share my somewhat slightly naughty views on the world, that I perhaps can't share with people in everyday life.
Why do I need to bring the fun to an end? Because I will be honest, I keep finding myself wanting more from life than being a source of wank material for some bloke I've never even met and will never meet. Although to be totally honest there has been very very little if any, of that going on for a while. Naughty thoughts seem to be reserved for 'Mr Delicious' (thanks for the use of that nickname to a very very old friend) if you have got someone, even if it is only virtually that does it for you then why accept poor imitations. I declare that it is Lola's law that everyone needs a delicious in their life! The sad truth is that I am finding it harder and harder and I just can't be Lola anymore, Lola as we all knew her has possibly gone!
I actually had a very bizarre conversation recently by email with a shall we say former soap star who had come across my profile whilst looking for someone else called Lola he asked if it turned me on knowing loads of blokes were wanking over me. Rather forward of him I thought, I don't care who you are, no one gets naughty info out of me till I know them a little bit better! My answer however, seeing as he has never seen any of my shall we say more private pictures, was that anyone wanking over a pair of tits in a bra, or a pair of legs in fishnets, is way too easily pleased for my liking! But it made me realise that's not who I am anymore. If I ever was.
So this year what has it bought me?
Well some fun, hell who am I kidding a lot of fun.
Some great new friends, some of them people that I hope will be friends for ever.
I found out things I never wanted to know. And things I wished I had realised years ago!
I've learnt a lot about myself, what turns me on, what really doesn't and just more about what I do and don't want from a man.
I lost the man that could have been my 'one' because he couldn't handle the newly emerging minx that was Lola, who up until that point had been solely for his pleasure and benefit.
Lola on facebook started out as a means of revenge, a way of getting back at my lying cheating wanker of an ex, try and find out just how sordid his life was and boy did I find out!
The lowest point? That would be Mr X, during a msn chat I described something we had got up to, involving strawberries and champagne,(I found a whole new way of eating a strawberry covered in my own shall we say honey, off his cock lol) when Lola asked if he had ever done that, knowing that he would want to boast more about his so called sexual prowess, to be told 'yeah with some bird I was shagging.' I think that was the moment that I realised, about 9 months too late I might add, that I had never meant anything to him at all, the man I had been in love with, (or was it the idea of being in love with him, that I was in love with), he had never actually felt anything for me at all. This was also the moment I realised that no matter what I tried to inflict on him as Lola, none of it could ever come close to what he had done to me.
In all it's been a truly wonderful year, one that has possibly defined me in more ways than I can explain and for that I must thank my facebook friends you've made it a blast.
xxxxx
To mark that milestone I have made a big decision. It's been a year, it's been fun, but I think the fun has to end at some point.
After all no one wants to be the last person to leave the party do they!
I think it's time for this party to end, sooner rather than later Lola has to go, not completely this blog will stay - how else will I share my somewhat slightly naughty views on the world, that I perhaps can't share with people in everyday life.
Why do I need to bring the fun to an end? Because I will be honest, I keep finding myself wanting more from life than being a source of wank material for some bloke I've never even met and will never meet. Although to be totally honest there has been very very little if any, of that going on for a while. Naughty thoughts seem to be reserved for 'Mr Delicious' (thanks for the use of that nickname to a very very old friend) if you have got someone, even if it is only virtually that does it for you then why accept poor imitations. I declare that it is Lola's law that everyone needs a delicious in their life! The sad truth is that I am finding it harder and harder and I just can't be Lola anymore, Lola as we all knew her has possibly gone!
I actually had a very bizarre conversation recently by email with a shall we say former soap star who had come across my profile whilst looking for someone else called Lola he asked if it turned me on knowing loads of blokes were wanking over me. Rather forward of him I thought, I don't care who you are, no one gets naughty info out of me till I know them a little bit better! My answer however, seeing as he has never seen any of my shall we say more private pictures, was that anyone wanking over a pair of tits in a bra, or a pair of legs in fishnets, is way too easily pleased for my liking! But it made me realise that's not who I am anymore. If I ever was.
So this year what has it bought me?
Well some fun, hell who am I kidding a lot of fun.
Some great new friends, some of them people that I hope will be friends for ever.
I found out things I never wanted to know. And things I wished I had realised years ago!
I've learnt a lot about myself, what turns me on, what really doesn't and just more about what I do and don't want from a man.
I lost the man that could have been my 'one' because he couldn't handle the newly emerging minx that was Lola, who up until that point had been solely for his pleasure and benefit.
Lola on facebook started out as a means of revenge, a way of getting back at my lying cheating wanker of an ex, try and find out just how sordid his life was and boy did I find out!
The lowest point? That would be Mr X, during a msn chat I described something we had got up to, involving strawberries and champagne,(I found a whole new way of eating a strawberry covered in my own shall we say honey, off his cock lol) when Lola asked if he had ever done that, knowing that he would want to boast more about his so called sexual prowess, to be told 'yeah with some bird I was shagging.' I think that was the moment that I realised, about 9 months too late I might add, that I had never meant anything to him at all, the man I had been in love with, (or was it the idea of being in love with him, that I was in love with), he had never actually felt anything for me at all. This was also the moment I realised that no matter what I tried to inflict on him as Lola, none of it could ever come close to what he had done to me.
In all it's been a truly wonderful year, one that has possibly defined me in more ways than I can explain and for that I must thank my facebook friends you've made it a blast.
xxxxx
Sunday 31 January 2010
THE FLOPPY PROBLEM
Mr X, dispite the amount I loved him (or should that be thought I loved him), had a little performance related problem, which has since known by me and quite a few others as THE FLOPPY PROBLEM!
I spent a lot of time soul searching, all kinds of things going through my head, wondering if it was me, was I not sexy enough? After all I had only had sex with one other person in quite a long time, maybe I had got so used to being with FBD, that I just wasn't doing it for Mr X. After all I knew he could get hard, I had seen pictures and videos that he had sent me of him playing with his 'rock hard 8 inches' (as he called it.) Although looking back on it, with hindsight and combined with the shall we say visual reminders I was treated to just before the big reveal, it possibly wasn't that hard! And the one (yes that is ONE) that looked quite convincing could have possibly have been an old clip.
After a couple of faltering attempts of actually trying to have sex, I began to realise that despite the various excuses he came up with and yes there were lots of excuses, which at first I thought it was just nerves after a few weeks I had to admit that there was indeed a problem.
A couple of times he did manage to get hard enough to fuck me, however this usually involved me dressing up in full fuck me kit, knee high boots, fishnets and basque was his favourite, but even then I could have spent hours bouncing up and down on his cock, (as if he could stay hard for that long), but there was no way he was going to cum. No matter what we were doing, even if it was one of my awesome blow job's (as named by a friend or two lol), no matter how I was trying to stimulate him, the only way he could cum, was with his cock in his hand! And even then it took rather a long time and looked like he was going to have a heart attack or something. I've seen some dodgy cum faces in my time, but his face was just a picture of desperation.
Now call me stupid, although in all fairness and defence to my own stupidity or was it innocence, at this point I didn't know about the wife at home. I was under the perhaps stupid impression that the probem could have been down to the fact that having been on his own for a while and being like myself highly sexed, he had spent a hell of a lot of time wanking and that he just had to get used to being with someone again. I had heard of this happening to guys that indulge in too much self pleasure, they get used to doing it a certain way and after a while nothing else will do it for them. But now with the benefit of hindsight maybe this was the problem at home, if he had a 'little' problem, maybe rather than admitting it to himself, he blamed his wife, she didn't do it for him anymore, so time to look elsewhere!
I spent a lot of time trying to find a solution. I thought that maybe we could try spicing it up by watching some of his favourite porn. This way I could maybe see what it was that really did it for him. It was then that the full picture started to become aparent. I soon starting to think that the problem may in fact be down to the kind of thing he was watching whilst wanking 'Harmony I love getting fucked in the Ass' springs to mind immediately. Now don't get me wrong, I am a very open and liberal person, up for trying out most things, but the kind of porn he was watching was rather extreme and although I had already received a little taster for his fondness of anal, it was only then that I realised just how much this appealed to him, every DVD in his collection had an element of anal involvement.
It wasn't just that, but the fact that it was all very brutal, maybe that's a strong word to use, but to me there is no enjoyment whatsoever in watching a woman getting used and abused by a man, when she looks like she's really not enjoying it.
Now there is a lot more to the Mr X story than I have revealed before, I wasn't the only 'other woman' and the irony of it all the other, other woman is actually an old friend of mine. When I started to have my doubts about his life, I started delving a little deeper, its amazing what you can find out from facebook! I suddenly had the realisation that maybe he was seeing her as well and an email soon confirmed this.
In a weird way I have to thank him for bringing an old friend back into my life, and do you know what? The more I chatch up with her and get to know her again, I begin to realise that there is a reason that he liked both of us so much, we are so very very similar!
So much so that she has read this blog, something that even my best friend hasn't done, she feels that it's just too personal, but the other woman can see it and appreciate it for what it is, and I have a sneaky suspision that her mind could be as dirty as mine! I know as if that's possible, two of us.
This Friday over a cuppa we had a good old giggle and chat about all kinds of things, much to the wonderment of the poor plumber who was there putting in her new bathroom sink and got asked the now immortal question 'Are you into anal sex then Paul?' Poor sod he nearly chocked on his cuppa. This was us drinking tea, hate to think what the conversation would be like with alcohol!
Anyway despite everything that happened, we have become great friends again and we couldn't help but talk about the floppy problem. I was curious to find out whether it had happened to her as well, maybe I was just trying to still reasure myself that the problem wasn't me, but it definately wasnt! Her descriptions of him laying in bed furiously trying to get hard, whilst she lay there wondering if he would notice if she got up and made a cup of tea!
We were sitting there crying with laughter at the idea of him sitting there with his cock in his hand, furiously wanking the look of desperation on his face and pouring with sweat. You could see the look of wonderment on his face when it did get hard for a brief few minutes and he tried to convince himself how ever briefly that he was fixed!
The moral of my tale today people, is that no matter how frustrating, some good came from a really bad situation, I have a few things to thanks him for really, thanks to him I discovered my inner minx and her name is Lola. I have met a few people that I want to stay in touch with forever. One who makes my tummy flutter and want to do extremely dirty things to him. I have re-connected with a very good and when I think back much missed friend. The irony of it all is that in the long run, it's looks like the player is the only looser!
xxxxx
I spent a lot of time soul searching, all kinds of things going through my head, wondering if it was me, was I not sexy enough? After all I had only had sex with one other person in quite a long time, maybe I had got so used to being with FBD, that I just wasn't doing it for Mr X. After all I knew he could get hard, I had seen pictures and videos that he had sent me of him playing with his 'rock hard 8 inches' (as he called it.) Although looking back on it, with hindsight and combined with the shall we say visual reminders I was treated to just before the big reveal, it possibly wasn't that hard! And the one (yes that is ONE) that looked quite convincing could have possibly have been an old clip.
After a couple of faltering attempts of actually trying to have sex, I began to realise that despite the various excuses he came up with and yes there were lots of excuses, which at first I thought it was just nerves after a few weeks I had to admit that there was indeed a problem.
A couple of times he did manage to get hard enough to fuck me, however this usually involved me dressing up in full fuck me kit, knee high boots, fishnets and basque was his favourite, but even then I could have spent hours bouncing up and down on his cock, (as if he could stay hard for that long), but there was no way he was going to cum. No matter what we were doing, even if it was one of my awesome blow job's (as named by a friend or two lol), no matter how I was trying to stimulate him, the only way he could cum, was with his cock in his hand! And even then it took rather a long time and looked like he was going to have a heart attack or something. I've seen some dodgy cum faces in my time, but his face was just a picture of desperation.
Now call me stupid, although in all fairness and defence to my own stupidity or was it innocence, at this point I didn't know about the wife at home. I was under the perhaps stupid impression that the probem could have been down to the fact that having been on his own for a while and being like myself highly sexed, he had spent a hell of a lot of time wanking and that he just had to get used to being with someone again. I had heard of this happening to guys that indulge in too much self pleasure, they get used to doing it a certain way and after a while nothing else will do it for them. But now with the benefit of hindsight maybe this was the problem at home, if he had a 'little' problem, maybe rather than admitting it to himself, he blamed his wife, she didn't do it for him anymore, so time to look elsewhere!
I spent a lot of time trying to find a solution. I thought that maybe we could try spicing it up by watching some of his favourite porn. This way I could maybe see what it was that really did it for him. It was then that the full picture started to become aparent. I soon starting to think that the problem may in fact be down to the kind of thing he was watching whilst wanking 'Harmony I love getting fucked in the Ass' springs to mind immediately. Now don't get me wrong, I am a very open and liberal person, up for trying out most things, but the kind of porn he was watching was rather extreme and although I had already received a little taster for his fondness of anal, it was only then that I realised just how much this appealed to him, every DVD in his collection had an element of anal involvement.
It wasn't just that, but the fact that it was all very brutal, maybe that's a strong word to use, but to me there is no enjoyment whatsoever in watching a woman getting used and abused by a man, when she looks like she's really not enjoying it.
Now there is a lot more to the Mr X story than I have revealed before, I wasn't the only 'other woman' and the irony of it all the other, other woman is actually an old friend of mine. When I started to have my doubts about his life, I started delving a little deeper, its amazing what you can find out from facebook! I suddenly had the realisation that maybe he was seeing her as well and an email soon confirmed this.
In a weird way I have to thank him for bringing an old friend back into my life, and do you know what? The more I chatch up with her and get to know her again, I begin to realise that there is a reason that he liked both of us so much, we are so very very similar!
So much so that she has read this blog, something that even my best friend hasn't done, she feels that it's just too personal, but the other woman can see it and appreciate it for what it is, and I have a sneaky suspision that her mind could be as dirty as mine! I know as if that's possible, two of us.
This Friday over a cuppa we had a good old giggle and chat about all kinds of things, much to the wonderment of the poor plumber who was there putting in her new bathroom sink and got asked the now immortal question 'Are you into anal sex then Paul?' Poor sod he nearly chocked on his cuppa. This was us drinking tea, hate to think what the conversation would be like with alcohol!
Anyway despite everything that happened, we have become great friends again and we couldn't help but talk about the floppy problem. I was curious to find out whether it had happened to her as well, maybe I was just trying to still reasure myself that the problem wasn't me, but it definately wasnt! Her descriptions of him laying in bed furiously trying to get hard, whilst she lay there wondering if he would notice if she got up and made a cup of tea!
We were sitting there crying with laughter at the idea of him sitting there with his cock in his hand, furiously wanking the look of desperation on his face and pouring with sweat. You could see the look of wonderment on his face when it did get hard for a brief few minutes and he tried to convince himself how ever briefly that he was fixed!
The moral of my tale today people, is that no matter how frustrating, some good came from a really bad situation, I have a few things to thanks him for really, thanks to him I discovered my inner minx and her name is Lola. I have met a few people that I want to stay in touch with forever. One who makes my tummy flutter and want to do extremely dirty things to him. I have re-connected with a very good and when I think back much missed friend. The irony of it all is that in the long run, it's looks like the player is the only looser!
xxxxx
Monday 18 January 2010
THE MAN IN THE BLACK NEGLIGEE
Question how do you look a man in the face, and have a serious business discussion when you have seen photographic evidence of him in a full length sheer black negligee complete with long black satin gloves!
I kid you not, today I was put in that very situation! Whats more I've even seen a video of him on the job so to speak, and not the job we were discussing today!
All this is courtesy of an old friend of mine who used to be his 'girlfriend' I say that in inverted commas because she was the girlfriend who was on a retainer, more of the GFE - Girlfriend Experience in escorting terms apparently! Hell it's amazing what a guy can get away with when he's coughing up a grand a week for the pleasure.
Now you have to realise this was a fair few years ago, as I said a girl I used to be friends with made her living in the oldest profession, lovely girl, but completely nutty and with a coke habit that would kill most people.
Anyway I don't know what it was she did so well but the upshot of it all was that he decided to do a Pretty Woman on her and asked her to give it all up for him (he was originally a punter) however she was more like Kit De Luca from Pretty Woman than Vivian Ward and she wasn't giving it up to be some old mans girlfriend, hence the rather huge weekly 'housekeeping'.
In return for the hefty envelope of cash every Friday, all she had to do was look as slutty as possible and put up with his more unusual requirements. Which included letting him dress up in her underwear, no mean feat considering she's about 5' 5" and a size 8 and hes about 6' 4" and built like a rugby player. He was also a very keen amateur photographer who had a little thing about leaving the result of his work around the house for all to see. Hence me seeing a picture of him wearing the black negligee!
Things came to a head for me though when one day whilst waiting for her to get her arse in gear to go shopping I switched on the TV by the remote to be greeted by them together on the screen - homemade DVD's don't you just love them.
Turned out one of his little 'quirks' was that he liked to think people would see them, and he got off on it in fact.
They split up about 4 or 5 years ago and she disappeared, no doubt to continue as she had before in a haze of girlfriend experiences and coke binges!
He on the other hand I have heard about, he was friends of a client of ours and we bump into each other occasionally. He had no idea that I've seen the pics and I'm never telling him that's for sure!
However today I had to go to a meeting with the said client for a new business venture we are looking into and guess what, he's only the other partner!
How can I work with this man? Every time I look at him all I see is negligee!
xxxxxx
I kid you not, today I was put in that very situation! Whats more I've even seen a video of him on the job so to speak, and not the job we were discussing today!
All this is courtesy of an old friend of mine who used to be his 'girlfriend' I say that in inverted commas because she was the girlfriend who was on a retainer, more of the GFE - Girlfriend Experience in escorting terms apparently! Hell it's amazing what a guy can get away with when he's coughing up a grand a week for the pleasure.
Now you have to realise this was a fair few years ago, as I said a girl I used to be friends with made her living in the oldest profession, lovely girl, but completely nutty and with a coke habit that would kill most people.
Anyway I don't know what it was she did so well but the upshot of it all was that he decided to do a Pretty Woman on her and asked her to give it all up for him (he was originally a punter) however she was more like Kit De Luca from Pretty Woman than Vivian Ward and she wasn't giving it up to be some old mans girlfriend, hence the rather huge weekly 'housekeeping'.
In return for the hefty envelope of cash every Friday, all she had to do was look as slutty as possible and put up with his more unusual requirements. Which included letting him dress up in her underwear, no mean feat considering she's about 5' 5" and a size 8 and hes about 6' 4" and built like a rugby player. He was also a very keen amateur photographer who had a little thing about leaving the result of his work around the house for all to see. Hence me seeing a picture of him wearing the black negligee!
Things came to a head for me though when one day whilst waiting for her to get her arse in gear to go shopping I switched on the TV by the remote to be greeted by them together on the screen - homemade DVD's don't you just love them.
Turned out one of his little 'quirks' was that he liked to think people would see them, and he got off on it in fact.
They split up about 4 or 5 years ago and she disappeared, no doubt to continue as she had before in a haze of girlfriend experiences and coke binges!
He on the other hand I have heard about, he was friends of a client of ours and we bump into each other occasionally. He had no idea that I've seen the pics and I'm never telling him that's for sure!
However today I had to go to a meeting with the said client for a new business venture we are looking into and guess what, he's only the other partner!
How can I work with this man? Every time I look at him all I see is negligee!
xxxxxx
Sunday 17 January 2010
TO JUMP OR NOT TO JUMP?
Question - How do you know if it's right to take that massive jump and tell someone what you want?
Now I am the first to admit it, I am so crap at the man/woman thing, I can talk the talk, but actually pulling my finger out and talking a leap into the unknown, fuck that I'm retreating into my hard shell of sarcasm!
If you've got something good, even if it's not the norm, do you go ahead and risk spoiling that by actually asking for what you really want!
Now I'm not talking anything kinky or even that dirty. Just real! But how I go about that is another thing, I just can't manage it. Maybe it's because it's the real me and not 'Lola' she would have no problem, she would just come straight out with it and say 'enough with the messing about, lets get sweaty!' But there in lies my problem, Lola does no strings dirty encounters and to be honest I don't know whether I can anymore.
It takes me back to my blog post about One Night Stands, there is a one night stand and then there is the so called 'fuck buddy' situation, both of which I've tried and although a proper one night stand is harmless, and by proper I mean you meet someone in a bar/club, you go home and have a night of dirty sex and that's it. No exchange of phone numbers, sometimes not even an exchange of last names, just good old fashioned dirty fun! Then you have the fuck buddy situation, anyone that has managed this I take my hat off to, congratulations your more woman than me!
Possibly even more than I did before I one hundred percent believe that there is no such thing as no strings sex with someone you know well, and someone that knows you well, who can anticipate what your thinking and can even predict your musical taste. How can you possibly have no strings sex with someone like that?
And there in lies my problem, how do you get through that, when two people quite obviously want each other, but both have totally different needs from the other, when one of you is only into no strings sex and the other one is pretty sure they wouldn't want just that. Is it worth spoiling what you already have, which is pretty dammed good if you know its doomed to failure from the start!
The sad thing, this has knocked my confidence, I have found myself sitting here thinking am I no longer sexy, why isn't this bloke gagging to gt in my knickers! This week I started coming to the conclusion that maybe enough's enough, could it be time to accept it and move on, a girl can only try for so long! I'm a determined girl who usually gets what I want, but could this be defeat!
Now I've always been a little dubious about horoscopes and stuff but I started reading mine on facebook of all places and it is so scarily accurate that I now read it religiously. And it's possibly been the cause of these negative feelings, combined of course with my hyper negative best friend, who has not understanding of how I can invest so much time into someone I've never even met.
The last few days have been particularly spooky I think here's a few highlights:-
Sunday
Single? The situation you have been stressing about has consumed too much energy with too little progress. It may be time for you to move on and get the fresh start you need.
Saturday
Single? Time to reassess some of your own goals and priorities, and to say that you have been barking up the wrong tree is a bit of an understatement, no?
Friday
Have you been busy projecting your own expectations on a certain situation, or is it possible that you have not been projecting them enough? Whether you are single or attached, you can not expect progress in your love affairs until all significant parties are fully aware of where you stand.
As you can imagine these combined with the weirdness of my mind in the last few days have been weighing hard on my mind.
And even after days of deliberation, I still don't know whether to jump or not!
xxxxx
Now I am the first to admit it, I am so crap at the man/woman thing, I can talk the talk, but actually pulling my finger out and talking a leap into the unknown, fuck that I'm retreating into my hard shell of sarcasm!
If you've got something good, even if it's not the norm, do you go ahead and risk spoiling that by actually asking for what you really want!
Now I'm not talking anything kinky or even that dirty. Just real! But how I go about that is another thing, I just can't manage it. Maybe it's because it's the real me and not 'Lola' she would have no problem, she would just come straight out with it and say 'enough with the messing about, lets get sweaty!' But there in lies my problem, Lola does no strings dirty encounters and to be honest I don't know whether I can anymore.
It takes me back to my blog post about One Night Stands, there is a one night stand and then there is the so called 'fuck buddy' situation, both of which I've tried and although a proper one night stand is harmless, and by proper I mean you meet someone in a bar/club, you go home and have a night of dirty sex and that's it. No exchange of phone numbers, sometimes not even an exchange of last names, just good old fashioned dirty fun! Then you have the fuck buddy situation, anyone that has managed this I take my hat off to, congratulations your more woman than me!
Possibly even more than I did before I one hundred percent believe that there is no such thing as no strings sex with someone you know well, and someone that knows you well, who can anticipate what your thinking and can even predict your musical taste. How can you possibly have no strings sex with someone like that?
And there in lies my problem, how do you get through that, when two people quite obviously want each other, but both have totally different needs from the other, when one of you is only into no strings sex and the other one is pretty sure they wouldn't want just that. Is it worth spoiling what you already have, which is pretty dammed good if you know its doomed to failure from the start!
The sad thing, this has knocked my confidence, I have found myself sitting here thinking am I no longer sexy, why isn't this bloke gagging to gt in my knickers! This week I started coming to the conclusion that maybe enough's enough, could it be time to accept it and move on, a girl can only try for so long! I'm a determined girl who usually gets what I want, but could this be defeat!
Now I've always been a little dubious about horoscopes and stuff but I started reading mine on facebook of all places and it is so scarily accurate that I now read it religiously. And it's possibly been the cause of these negative feelings, combined of course with my hyper negative best friend, who has not understanding of how I can invest so much time into someone I've never even met.
The last few days have been particularly spooky I think here's a few highlights:-
Sunday
Single? The situation you have been stressing about has consumed too much energy with too little progress. It may be time for you to move on and get the fresh start you need.
Saturday
Single? Time to reassess some of your own goals and priorities, and to say that you have been barking up the wrong tree is a bit of an understatement, no?
Friday
Have you been busy projecting your own expectations on a certain situation, or is it possible that you have not been projecting them enough? Whether you are single or attached, you can not expect progress in your love affairs until all significant parties are fully aware of where you stand.
As you can imagine these combined with the weirdness of my mind in the last few days have been weighing hard on my mind.
And even after days of deliberation, I still don't know whether to jump or not!
xxxxx
Sunday 10 January 2010
THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE UNSOLICITED COCK PICTURE!
What is it about me that says 'yeah you can send me a picture of your cock and I won't mind'! Or 'Hell yeah I'm quite into a bit of dirty.'
Do I have the face that screams 'dirty'? All things that have been running through my head in the last month or so.
The stupid thing is that there is more than one person who I know reads this that could answer this question for me, but as most people don't actually know what I look like it could be difficult!
Call me silly but there I was, sitting there quietly minding my own business when my crackberry binged at my side, an email usually gets me a little excited, not for any naughty reasons you have to understand, but just for the simple reason that I am on the mailing list of quite a few of my favourite stores and they regularly tout their wares to me, usually in the middle of the night!
Anyway, so there I am sitting on the sofa, about half ten at night, chatting on facebook to someone I vaguely know. He was away working in Berlin and was bored, I felt a little sorry for him, poor thing stuck in a hotel room listening to a couple shagging in the room above him, I wasn't doing anything in particular so didnt mind exchanging pleasantries with him. I wasn't in the mood to see the new Dune collection or whatever it was, so I didn't look at the email straight away.
The chat window opens again and he says 'Did you like it then?' Like what? I thought, stupidly under the impression that maybe he was doing that old favourite of mine - typing in the wrong chat window! (Something that has got me into trouble on more than one occasion), the worst wrong chat window experience - doing the dirty thing - the wrong chat window happened to be my cousin!
Now you have to understand this is not someone I know well, he is a friend of a friend kind of thing, we have never even actually met, we know of each other through friends, nothing more. So what happened next came as quite a surprise if not a shock! More chat popped up, 'chatting to you and listening to the people upstairs has made me really horny, do you like how hard you have made me?'
As I read that it was then that I looked at the email, the title should have given it away 'Look what you did to me' as I opened it there it was, yep the unsolicited cock picture!
Talk about shocked. I was sitting there wondering if I had missed something, was he one of them people who I may have bumped uglies with in my bad days past and then forgotten about? Had I come in late one night and had a drunken online chat with him that had maybe got a little flirty, even dirty and then forgotten?
Now you have to realise that this isn't someone who knows about 'Lola' he has no idea about my naughty alter ego. He was actually getting dirty with ME, the real me, not the naughty alter ego, but actual real me.
Now you have to understand that although all of this is 'me' it's a hidden aspect of my life. But here was this bloke that hardly knows me, sending me a picture of his cock. Was my secret out, had he come across my facebook profile or this blog and somehow realised it was me? Don't see how considering my ex-boyfriend didn't even realise it was me!
So there I am sat there looking at a pic of his cock, thinking 'erm no hunnie when you seen a picture of someone's cock being compared in size to a can of fosters and winning,(damn I mentioned him again) that is when I like what I see' and wondering what the bloody hell I was supposed to do or say now!
The worst part of it was that this guy thought that it was ok to send someone he hardly knows a picture of his todger! I mean hello this is real life not naughty alter ego central. Part of me was tempted to just log off, but seeing as I was chatting to other people as well I couldnt.
Luckily I have had the foresight to sort my facebook friends into groups, and as if by magic you can turn yourself off to some people whilst staying online to others. But a part of me was curious as to how far he would go. Would he be asking for a pic in return? People who know my facebook persona know that there are a few pics I could share with him, but this wasn't Lola, this was 'me' and I dont do naughty pics. Well ok I sent a pic of my tits to someone the other day but that was the first pic in a very long time!
Needless to say I turned off the chat box for him and carried on my evening. But it really got me thinking why oh why did he even think it was ok to send me a picture of his cock?
Is Lola seeping into real life? I would like a little bit of her to hang around for real, but maybe only for special people that I know wil appreciate it!
Needless to say a few days later when I plucked up the courage to ask him about it, what made him think that it was ok, no reply. He went off chat very quick I can tell you! And the next day he deleted me, nice or what, maybe he did this a lot and no one else had ever questioned him about it before, maybe he was just embarrased, maybe he just realised that his cock really wasn't that much to show off about!
xxxxx
Do I have the face that screams 'dirty'? All things that have been running through my head in the last month or so.
The stupid thing is that there is more than one person who I know reads this that could answer this question for me, but as most people don't actually know what I look like it could be difficult!
Call me silly but there I was, sitting there quietly minding my own business when my crackberry binged at my side, an email usually gets me a little excited, not for any naughty reasons you have to understand, but just for the simple reason that I am on the mailing list of quite a few of my favourite stores and they regularly tout their wares to me, usually in the middle of the night!
Anyway, so there I am sitting on the sofa, about half ten at night, chatting on facebook to someone I vaguely know. He was away working in Berlin and was bored, I felt a little sorry for him, poor thing stuck in a hotel room listening to a couple shagging in the room above him, I wasn't doing anything in particular so didnt mind exchanging pleasantries with him. I wasn't in the mood to see the new Dune collection or whatever it was, so I didn't look at the email straight away.
The chat window opens again and he says 'Did you like it then?' Like what? I thought, stupidly under the impression that maybe he was doing that old favourite of mine - typing in the wrong chat window! (Something that has got me into trouble on more than one occasion), the worst wrong chat window experience - doing the dirty thing - the wrong chat window happened to be my cousin!
Now you have to understand this is not someone I know well, he is a friend of a friend kind of thing, we have never even actually met, we know of each other through friends, nothing more. So what happened next came as quite a surprise if not a shock! More chat popped up, 'chatting to you and listening to the people upstairs has made me really horny, do you like how hard you have made me?'
As I read that it was then that I looked at the email, the title should have given it away 'Look what you did to me' as I opened it there it was, yep the unsolicited cock picture!
Talk about shocked. I was sitting there wondering if I had missed something, was he one of them people who I may have bumped uglies with in my bad days past and then forgotten about? Had I come in late one night and had a drunken online chat with him that had maybe got a little flirty, even dirty and then forgotten?
Now you have to realise that this isn't someone who knows about 'Lola' he has no idea about my naughty alter ego. He was actually getting dirty with ME, the real me, not the naughty alter ego, but actual real me.
Now you have to understand that although all of this is 'me' it's a hidden aspect of my life. But here was this bloke that hardly knows me, sending me a picture of his cock. Was my secret out, had he come across my facebook profile or this blog and somehow realised it was me? Don't see how considering my ex-boyfriend didn't even realise it was me!
So there I am sat there looking at a pic of his cock, thinking 'erm no hunnie when you seen a picture of someone's cock being compared in size to a can of fosters and winning,(damn I mentioned him again) that is when I like what I see' and wondering what the bloody hell I was supposed to do or say now!
The worst part of it was that this guy thought that it was ok to send someone he hardly knows a picture of his todger! I mean hello this is real life not naughty alter ego central. Part of me was tempted to just log off, but seeing as I was chatting to other people as well I couldnt.
Luckily I have had the foresight to sort my facebook friends into groups, and as if by magic you can turn yourself off to some people whilst staying online to others. But a part of me was curious as to how far he would go. Would he be asking for a pic in return? People who know my facebook persona know that there are a few pics I could share with him, but this wasn't Lola, this was 'me' and I dont do naughty pics. Well ok I sent a pic of my tits to someone the other day but that was the first pic in a very long time!
Needless to say I turned off the chat box for him and carried on my evening. But it really got me thinking why oh why did he even think it was ok to send me a picture of his cock?
Is Lola seeping into real life? I would like a little bit of her to hang around for real, but maybe only for special people that I know wil appreciate it!
Needless to say a few days later when I plucked up the courage to ask him about it, what made him think that it was ok, no reply. He went off chat very quick I can tell you! And the next day he deleted me, nice or what, maybe he did this a lot and no one else had ever questioned him about it before, maybe he was just embarrased, maybe he just realised that his cock really wasn't that much to show off about!
xxxxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
