Thursday, 28 May 2009


The question of sex in strange places came to mind during a very naughty msn chat with one of my facebook fav's, lets call him George (he chose the name not me) he's definitely another one of my facebook friends I would love to fuck. This particular chat followed on from a naughty text I had sent him over that weekend - blame the Jack Daniels I have!

It started with me saying that I'd love to join him in a sauna, something which I haven't done with him or anyone else I may hasten to add. I would be most concerned about suffocating whilst giving him an outstanding blow job. Oh and the the fact that all that humidity would totally ruin my hair.

It was a very hot msn exchange, I can't pin point exactly why, but there is something about him, maybe it the cheeky smile, or even the fact that he really is a dirty boy, who knows exactly what to say to make me want to slip my hand in my knickers - no matter where I am or what I am doing. It doesn't help that the picture he has on his msn profile makes him look so naughty and fuckable I cant help but think naughty, nasty thoughts when we're online. On more than one occasion I have cum extremely hard when chatting online to him.

Anyway it did get me thinking about where I have done it that isn't shall we say a traditional place for fucking i.e bed, sofa, floor, kitchen worktop, stairs, bath, shower, dinning room table - These are all pretty normal aren't they?

Anyway it got me thinking, firstly about how sorry I feel for those couples who have got to the point in their relationship where the only place they ever have sex is in bed.

How's it go? Bog standard missionary, her on top and then doggy to finish. How do I know this, possibly because I used to be stuck in a relationship with Mr 'I don't try anything new' for us and for a lot of couples out there sex means no variations no rampant need to rip each others clothes off in the kitchen and do it hard and fast up against the worktop.

It also got me thinking about what if not strange then alternative places I had done the deed. So I started going back over my sexual history - and believe me that was scary!

Having lost my virginity at 16 theres a fair few years of fucking to get through, about 5 or 6 girly holidays which potentially means 14 shags a time - doesn't everyone go on holiday and get fucked every which way for 2 weeks at some stage between the ages of 18 and about 25! Two summers of working abroad in my early 20's so that's potentially 8 weeks of shagging in distinctly bizarre places.

I tried to draw up a short list, but couldn't decide which was the most if not bizarre then odd or awkward places.

I came up with the usual suspects, swimming pool, jacuzzi, in the car, against the car, on the beach, on the front of a boat, on a train, pub toilets, chillout areas in clubs and hedges at raves, in fields at parties. I came up with so many that I really couldn't fit them all into one post, so I thought that this one could be a series of strange places!

Going back over my sexual past I thought as far back as I could and one of the first odd places I could come up with, had to be the alleyway leading down to the grave yard in my hometown. I was probably about 18 or 19 I had been in the pub with the girls. I can't remember why we were all home for the weekend, it was a hot night so it could have been a Bank Holiday or a drunken BBQ weekend - they happened a lot, still do in fact main difference is that we are all a lot older, can afford more booze and and we are defiantly no wiser!

We were in the pub, strangely the pub that I later worked in. Even then we all had filthy minds and had probably been discussing various sexual acts in the drunken way that girls do. During the course of the evening the local hottie - ironically on of the few blonde's I have ever got hot and wet in the knickers over, he caught my eye and I caught his!

We spent the rest of the night flirting - yes flirting I am quite good at that I do believe.

We had skirted the issue of whether we were going to fuck each other or not. Towards the end of the evening, I was standing at the bar waiting to be served, I think it was last orders (remember those days, when last orders was at 11.00 pm) the bar was rammed and he came up behind me put his hand down round my waist and grabbed my pussy through my jeans, whispering in my ear "That's mine later" well what could I say, I wanted him to undo my jeans there and then, sit me up on the bar and fuck me hard.

Immediately my mind started working overtime, where the hell was I going to fuck him? Taking him home to my parents house could be a mistake. Theres no way I was going to hold back, I wanted to give him a shag fest that he would remember for a while - even back then I was a bit of a naughty girl!

There was no way I was going back to his, he shared a flat with what seemed to be about 10 other blokes and back then there was no way I would consider any of them joining in! Getting the last round I went back to my friends and bingo the solution popped into my head, one of my oldest friends who was with us, parents were away, simple me and him, front room floor, job done. She was OK with it, she had pulled a hottie as well so she would be doing pretty much the same thing.

As we all left the pub, everyone did their usual and headed down the road, the High Street was packed with pissed people - god I miss 11.30 kick out, everyone meeting in town and messing about, traffic cones, climbing lamp posts the usual drunken antics of a Friday or Saturday night.

As we were all heading back to my friends house, we decided to stop and get some chips - drunk and young, has to be done.

Whilst we were queueing up his hands were wandering and so were mine, back in them days I thought nothing of sliding my hand hands inside a pair of jeans for a handful of cock, no matter where I was or who was watching (these days I'd be a little more subtle). But I guess I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist when it comes to sex!

Anyway wandering hands found one of the hardest biggest cocks I had, had the fortune to come across back then, wrapping my hand around it, I heard him groan in my ear, I realised that he was a lot hornier than I had thought and the thought of that cock in those jeans, was making me very wet at the thought of what we were going to get up to later. I knew that there was no way we were waiting to get back to my friends house.

All thoughts of chips were forgotten, both us us wanted sex and we wanted it now! Grabbing my hand he dragged me out of the take away and straight down the alleyway just down the road. Within seconds we were kissing, hard hot heavy kisses, as clothes were loosened and jeans undone. I didn't care that my jeans were round my ankles in a dirty alleyway and cared even less when they came off completely leaving me standing there in heels and my knickers his mouth working its way down my body.

Now I'm a girl that loves a good licking, but it wasn't the time or place, I wanted to feel that hard cock that I had got a feel of, inside me hard and fast. Quickly though I realised that we weren't actually that far down the alleyway and that anyone walking past could quite possibly see what we were doing! Now these days the idea of someone maybe seeing and watching (preferably with their cock in hand) would make it all the better, but back then I was a little more reserved, only a little, but enough to not want to be caught fucking someone down an alleyway. Grabbing his hand and stopping to pick up my jeans I dragged him further down the alleyway to find a nice metal railing fence and some grass, couldn't think for the life of me where we were but it seemed like a good idea.

Needless to say, within seconds I was being pushed forwards against the railings grabbing one in each hand as he slide his cock into me from behind, (yes a pattern is emerging, me and being fucked from behind LOVE IT). Immediately I was think wow this is big, the promise I had felt in the take-away was just a promise, it was huge. Huge indeed but so so good, pushing back onto his cock, taking as much as I could.

As my eyes adjusted to the moonlight, I could see that there was some kind of garden through the railings, a garden with lots of stone statues!

As he varied the angle slightly I could feel his cock rubbing on my g-spot, although back then I didn't know what it was possibly, but just knew it felt very very good. As he started fucking me harder and harder I let go of one of the railings to reach down and rub my clit, I was going to cum and I was going to cum hard!

As I started to cum I could hear my friends at the top of the alleyway calling us. At that point I couldn't have care less if they had all wandered down the alley and joined in.

As I started to cum hard, we both fell down onto our knees, him pumping hard feeling my pussy griping him hard, and pretty soon pulling out to shoot his load all over my arse cheeks.

As I caught my breath I looked right in front of me and noticed what was right in front of me just through the railings - a big stone with writing on it! When I was standing up it had been below my eye line, but now at ground level, there it was a bloody gravestone! The nice garden with its stone statues was the graveyard.

I could hear footsteps coming and my friends giggling, now I love my friends and since then we have on more than one occasion been in the same room as each other whilst being very very naughty (a holiday thing again) but back then I really didn't fancy the idea of them finding me on my knees by the graveyard with my cum running down my thighs and his cum splattered over my arse cheeks! I figured it would take them about 2 minutes to get down to where we were and I had to try and get my jeans back on over my shoes!

Needless to say I just about managed it, but it was still very obvious what we had been doing. Best Friends hottie looked at my hottie and gave him the laddish yeah nice one wink.

So yes I have over the years had sex in some unusual and sometime naughty places, and do you know what? I hope there will be many, many more.

Please god (and I don't ever ask him for much) don't ever let me become one of those woman who only has sex in bed! Please let Mr Right when he eventually turns up, be as sexually adventurous as me, and I'm not just talking 'hey darling lets do it with the lights on tonight' I mean the passion of looking at each other on a night out and thinking 'lets do it now.' Someone who will come up behind me in the kitchen and push me up against the worktop and fuck me hard, or help me out in the shop changing room, when my zip gets stuck!