WHY TRY AND IMPROVE ON PERFECTION?

As my old grandad used to say "If it's not broken don't try and fix it!'

If you have a design that's perfect, why try and change it or add to the range? What am I talking about, well silly subject but I'm thinking Rampant Rabbit's. Now this is a subject I feel very qualified to comment on, me and my rabbit until recently had the perfect relationship. The perfect orgasm every time, although I did start to realise 'hang on this is getting a bit like really standard, boring relationship sex!'

Go on admit it we have all had it, it's perfectly good, always concludes with a perfectly adequate orgasm, but before you even start you kind of know exactly what the next 20 mins or so is going to involve. The worst thing is you both think it's great sex, but then one day, usually when someone else makes you hormones zing, you realise 'damn where did the spark go?'

A few months ago I was devastated when when my Platinum Rabbit finally gave up on me, the spinney bit wouldn't spin anymore, them wonderful bunny ears were still doing the fast and furious magic thing, but with out the spinney bit, it just wasn't the same. So as soon as pay day came around I hit the shops ready to arm myself with a new one. Imagine my complete surprise when walking into the local Anne Summers to find that the Rampant Rabbit selection had indeed been breeding like rabbits and I now had a selection of bunnies to choose from. Oh the choices, thruster, g-pulse, platinum plus, elite, twister, wave, heart throb, three way, oh and the thruster delux!

Oh and a couple of them come in a slimmer version - which I found out after a very uncomfortable conversation with the sales assistant in the shop, is for women that are 'too tight' for the big boys! Apparently that's what will break it the quickest, for a few seconds there I thought 'yay I have a nice tight pussy' but then realised that it was more likely that after a few years of a lot of use the poor thing has given up!

So there I am standing there discussing the different pleasure each one offered and I have to say that even I who is usually very open about this kind of thing, found it a little bit wrong discussing my sex toy usage with a woman I had never even met before! My problem, I am the worst person at making decisions, I find it hard enough to choose between Thai or Indian take-away let alone being presented by a vast range of toys that are there solely for my pleasure, but in typical me fashion, rather than make a decision I left the shop without a new rabbit. I made do for a while, after all it's not like I don't have other 'friends' to play with, apparently according to some friends my toy collection is a little large!

But you find one you really like, that hits the spot every time and you stick with it! But every now and again you see something and thing lets give you a go, like picking up a hot man for a bit NSA fun, but after one go you think that was 'nice' but not great and you go back to what you know, ah the penny drops - I am having boring relationship sex with my sex toys!

So upon this realisation I thought, right time for a new breed of bunny, it's a shame you cant do some kind of try before you buy scheme, after all if you don't get on with it, it's not like you can give it to one of your friends. After a lot of thinking I settled for the thruster delux, main reason its doesn't have the new longer flicky ears that if you get them in the wrong position are more like a whip than is pleasurable and I kind of thought the trusting action could more accurately recreate the pleasures of an actual cock, I have yet to meet a man who can make his spin in circular motions!

All the time, wondering of I had made the right decision, should I have just stuck with the relationship rabbit, all the way home a battle going on in my head, should I have stuck with what I know, had I made the right decision to move on, what if I didn't like the new one, could I cope another month until the next payday to be re-united with the love of my sex life!

I couldn't wait to try out my new friend, but thought I should wait till I was really in the mood, for it's maiden voyage, a nice soak in the bath with a good book (once again thank you black lace) scrummy bath oils, followed by crisp clean sheets, blimey sounds like a first date! After all wouldn't want to set it up to fail.

So suitably relaxed, bathed and more than a little horny after reading best part of a book, oh and some deliciously naughty thoughts about someone who has had me hot under the collar for quite a while now, I retired with my new friend!

My first thought WOW WOW WOW, a little bit of lube and Robert's your mums brother! Total bliss, or so I thought, the next night again the same result, in no time at all the sounds coming from my bedroom would have rivaled the scene in When Harry met Sally - but without the faking obviously. As you can imagine I was a very happy bunny, pardon the pun, but I even nicknamed it Thumper, can you believe it like a stupid love struck teenager I had given my toy a pet name!

However like a grubby affair, the shine has quickly dulled and I find myself wishing I still had the boring relationship rabbit. What makes it worse is that my boring relationship rabbit doesn't exist anymore he got 'deluxed' and now has the ouchy whippy ears! Which brings me back to my initial thought.

WHY TRY AND IMPROVE ON PERFECTION

xxxxx

EPIPHANY!

I had a little epiphany last Saturday night, well more Sunday morning, but it had started off as Saturday night!

The cause of this epiphany, well possibly the same reason as the last epiphany I had exactly 12 months earlier to the night! Is that freaky weird? Because I certainly thought so. Well I did until I realised that, that was the last time I had had that kind of night out and had shall we indulged in all my favourite past times!

Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll!

Or rather should I say all my favourite past times from the bad old days, well nearly all, I could have indulged in every way, but instead I was a good girl and turned down the sex! I know, me turning down the sex, SHOCKER and do you know what, it had the opportunity to be very good sex, could have even been the chance to fulfill one of my fantasies! But nope, I drew the line at a bit of tonsil tennis behind a pillar.

I did however misbehave on every other level! I am not proud of my past, but I'm not ashamed either, in my early 20's I was the perfect 'ladette' drinking copious amounts of alcohol, having sex with a lot of people, many of whom were one nighters. Staying out all night, sometimes all weekend in fact. And most of all swallowing, smoking and snorting any illegal substance I could get my hands on!

This is something that luckily I don't feel the need to do that often these days, hardly ever in fact. Well OK the sex thing still occurs occasionally and the alcohol and the Rock n Roll, but not often the need to obliterate a few more brain cells with narcotics.

Why this particular evening? Well many things I guess.

The date for one, the anniversary of when one of my oldest friends died in a motorbike accident, it was 11 years this year. And it's one of those milestones each year that makes me feel a little bit older, even if no wiser! Every year without even knowing it, we seem to have some big mad night out on the anniversary of the weekend that he died.

No. 2 the fact that we were in the presence of one of of the original 'mad for it' Madchester boys in the shape of the Godlike Genius that is Ian Brown.

Oh and most of all because it was offered to me and it seemed like a great idea at at that point in the evening. Maybe the need to re-create those heady days of the Stone Roses and that it was such an amazing night that I just thought fuck it why not, it seemed like the ideal way to make a great night perfect and it was taking an absolute age to get to the bar anyway!

So this epiphany that I mentioned, there I am towards the end of the gig, dancing away with my new friends, (the ones who had tempted me earlier in the evening with all sorts of goodies like a peado in a playground, kind of like 'do you want to come and play with my new puppy' but more a case of 'do you want to drop one of these little white things I have hidden in my pocket') there we all were, flying thanks to Ebeneezer and Charlie, when one of them whispered something in my ear that made me smile and blush all at the same time.

Suddenly it hit me clear as day, for those few moments I suddenly realised that the past is behind me, in the last few months I have made decisions in my private life that have ensured that, and that no matter how many 'what ifs' I had in my head before, they no longer matter.

Decision number one was deleting FBD completely, mobile number, email address and most importantly as as facebook friend!

The reason for this, the aftermath of a night out in which I very nearly slept with him again, 'just for old times sake' his words not mine! Having spent much of the night plying me with alcohol and reminding me how good the sex we used to have was. Hell yeah I have to admit I was tempted, so tempted that I even got half way home with him. I will even admit that there was some drunken snogging and a bit of a near miss in an alleyway. But suddenly I realised that nothing had changed, it would never be what I wanted it to be. I didn't really want to have sex with him, I just wanted to try and re-create what we had before, but that could never happen. For a start since the last time I fucked him I have been on quite a journey of discovery.

He had over five years done quite a good job at making me think that there was no better sex than what we had. I realise now that if these so called 'feelings' I had once had for him were true, there was no way on this earth I would have fucked his nephew a couple of months ago! Don't go stressing I'm not a kiddy fiddler, the nephew is 30 this week! I may have had feelings for him in the past, but even though in my head I thought a trace of them could still be hanging around, my heart had obviously decided otherwise. So as I said, I made the decision to cut all the ties, I no longer cared what people would say when they realised, no longer my problem, he had never been my guilty secret, the majority of my friends had always known, he was the one with issues not me! In my final email to him I made sure that he finally became aware of how I had really felt about him.

I also wanted to elaborate on my text last night, you could have had me and by that I mean properly, at any time over the past five years, it hasn’t just been about the sex for me, and if you didn't realise that you are a blind fool. For quite a long time and I was ok with that, knowing that you weren’t into having relationships and stuff - my fault for getting too involved. But then I realised it was obviously just me, strange really because all my friends who knew, as in ***** and ** – they are the only people I have ever told, so I am assuming that it was your big gob that told *** and **** and a few other blokes that have mentioned it to me, so I am not the only one who has been indiscrete. Anyway they both told me I could do so much better, but I guess it was actually the other way round, I’m the one that would never be good enough! Other than **** you were the only person I had sex with for that entire time a fact that you seemed to choose to ignore.

One day I hope the realisation of what you could have had hits you and I hope you regret it.

Obviously the names have been changed to protect the in this case innocent, and the contants of the text are extremely personal, but that gives you an idea of how it went.

I am a little sad though, this is someone who has been in my life for more than half of it, in the time that we weren't talking the thing I missed most was nothing to do with sex, it was the friendship, silly little things that I knew he would also find amusing, suddenly there was no one to share them with and now by taking this monumental step, I will never have that again.

Decision two came the following week! And really seeing as he was the reason for 'Lola' I guess should have been a blog post of his own, but do you know what, I realised that it just wasn't worth it! I finally revealed all to my ex - the fact that Lola was me.

So the revenge what form did it take? Did I go ahead with my plans for revealing all to his wife? Did I get my face to face meet where I got to look him in the eye and say haha sucker? Did I get an apology for the way he had treated me?

Simple Answer NO!

After ten months of reeling him in and getting him hooked on the Lola lovin, how did I finish it? An email! Yes wimp out I know, but do you know what, at the end of the day even if I had got my face to face meet, I would still have never got my answers, I realise now that he is a compulsive liar.

Many people have told me that the email wasn't harsh enough that they would have made sure that he paid for his behaviour. But do you know what, I really couldn't be bothered to waste any more energy on the waste of space. I thought what I said summed it up pretty well, it went like this:-

Sorry I couldn't meet you tonight. The one simple reason for that is Lola isn't my real name, the person who you have been lusting after for all these months and desperately wanting to fuck well surprise surprise you have already or rather tried to, gutted hey? You had it, that naughty minx who knew exactly what to say to make your cock hard (well as hard as you manage) she was yours and you threw that away!

In case your still too thick to work out who I am, it's ........ and you have just been well and truly repaid for the pain and heartache you put me through, would like to say it's been fun, and in a way it has, I have taken great pleasure in watching your sad attempts at trying to get a decent hard-on on web cam, this has given me hours and hours of pleasure, and everyone else who knew about it.

Initially I did this because I wanted to get answers from you as to why you treated me like this but I realise now that you can't help yourself. I feel pity for you, that you are obviously so unhappy with your life that you behave in this way.

But beware if you decide to try and get back at me I have saved every single facebook chat, AIM and MSN conversation you have had with Lola and I am more than ready to start distributing it to your wife and I'm sure next time I have a chat with your mum whilst shopping she would love to hear about your indiscretions might blow out of the water her ideas of you being such a perfect husband and father!

I could have wrecked your life, but hey guess I'm just a much better person than you could ever hope to be.

As you can imagine these have both been pretty momentous things both of which happened in such a short space of time. And last weekend as I moved to the music up close and personal with my new friend (yes the last blog post did pop into my head on more than one occasion)it suddenly struck me, these men had between them made me think that I was missing out by not having them in my life, when in fact it was the exact opposite, they were dammed lucky to have had me and it was their loss in not having me in their lives anymore.

xxxxx

BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS

I am surrounded by hot sweaty bodies, all swaying moving in unison to the hypnotic music, the base pounding through me, hitting my solar plexus and making me want to dance, vibrating through the floor to my pussy and making me want to fuck.

The music intensifies, the beat getting stronger and the base harder, is it the music or is it me? Feeling the music now as well as hearing it, every note hitting a different part of my body making me tingle.

Raising my arms in the air, I stand there for a moment and just feel........

Then it hits, the feeling of pure ecstasy as the music take control of my mind and body, eyes closed just listening and hearing, that feeling that starts in my fingers working its way down. My arms, my shoulders, feeling my body start to move and my hips swaying, tingling in my toes, moving up my legs feeling the base pounding, harder and harder, meeting in the middle and then bam!

As it hits, my eyes open and there you are, across the crowded dance floor you feel my eyes burning into you and you look at me, our eyes connected all the people around us turning to haze as our eyes meet. I can feel your eyes burning through my clothes, you know the effect that the music is having on me and I just know it’s having the same effect on you.

The music changes and the crowds rush towards the stage, pushing past me and breaking our eye contact. As I am jostled to the front I search the sea of faces looking for you. The music starts to take over again, four thousand voices singing along, all worshipping at the same alter. God might be a DJ but he could also be a Rock Star!

As the music starts to take over my body again, the feeling returns, that tingle, a primeval beat coursing through my body.

The music starts to take over the heat coursing through my body, raising my arms, I lift my hair to allow the air to cool my neck and that’s when I feel it, not the feeling of cool that I was expecting but hot breathe on my neck.

Without turning to look, I know it you. Feeling you dancing closer and closer, your body pressing up against mine, our bodies instinctively moving together in time to the music.

Raising my arms in the air as I sway, feeling your hot hard body pressed against me, your hands raise up and run down my arms, slowly caressing every inch starting with my fingers, down lower and lower, moving round to the inside of my arms, lower and lower, I know that within seconds your hands will be on my tits, the thought makes my pussy twitch, wondering if you will stop to play with my aching nipples or if you will just tease me and carry on down my body. Pushing back against you I can feel your hard cock pressing against the small of my back, knowing that you are just as turned on as I am.

Your hands rest briefly on my nipples, just long enough for me to feel it, I arch my back to push them harder against your hands, trying to get some satisfaction from the feeling of your touch. Your hands begin to move further down my body, down over my side, to my hips, where they rest pulling me back against you. Small gentle kisses rain across the back on my neck up towards my ears, you tongue on my neck flicking, my eyes close thinking of your tongue flicking over my clit.

Suddenly the music changes, I have lost all concept of time, the song that I know so well has passed me by. You spin me round to face you, my arms drop to your shoulders, my hair falling back over my shoulders, as the beat begins to pick up again and the crowd sways I stare into your eyes as you alter our position slightly so one of your legs is between mine, pulling me closer and closer to you, feeling your leg pushing against my wetness, the friction causing the seam of my jeans to tease my clit making the need to fuck you even more intense.

Reaching down between us, your hand thrusts between my legs, pushing and rubbing the heat intensifying through my body, I can feel it spreading through my body, my breathing getting faster and faster, suddenly my whole body goes rigid and as my orgasm breaks, you kiss me sliding your tongue into my mouth, my pussy pulsing and contacting, I can feel my jeans getting soaked as my cum spreads. Your tongue carries on exploring, as my breathing slows and the sensation fades, I pull away and rest my head on your shoulder, my heart still racing and the aftershocks of my orgasm zinging through my body.

As reality returns I can feel your cock hot and hard against me, the exhibitionist part of me wants to sink to my knees right there in the crowd and take your hard length in my mouth, sucking gently on the tip of your cock as my hand wraps round the base of your shaft, then flicking with my tongue, running it slowly down your shaft up and down. Taking it in my mouth and sucking hard as I wank your shaft into my mouth, looking up into your eyes, watching as you throw your head back and give yourself over to pleasure. Knowing that other people would be watching us and getting satisfaction from watching, a real life porn film right in front of them.

Jerking me out of my fantasy world, you take my hand and pull me towards the back of the room, away from the flashing lights and the crush of people, into the darkness. As my eyes adjust to the lack of light I see that we are under the metal stairs that take people up to the bar area, other music lovers are walking up and down oblivious to the fact that we are below them.

Pushing me backwards, my back resting against the wall, I reach back to steady myself, I can feel the condensation running down the walls, the result of all those hot sweaty bodies. And know the temperature in our dark little hiding place is about to rise even more.

Reaching up I pull your head down towards me, a hand either side of your head, pausing for a second to look into your eyes, taking in your face, your lips are perfect, I can imagine them all over my body. Then we are kissing hard and fast, our tongues flicking against each other, as we kiss, your hands start to run up my body, your fingers grazing over my rock hard nipples, pausing to squeeze them, my breath catching as you do so, pushing my tits together with your hands. Your thumbs running backwards and forwards over my aching tips, each touch making my nipples harder and my clit throb, feeling the dampness in my knickers grow as you tease me.

One hands lowers, working its way down my body, catching on the button of my jeans, I hold my breath hoping that you will undo them and slide your fingers into my wetness, circling my throbbing clit and then sliding inside me. But no, you pass my button and carry on down to the junction between my legs, rubbing hard against the fabric of my jeans. I feel cheated, I don’t want to cum again without feeling your fingers on my skin, I need your fingers or your cock inside me, your thumb on my clit pushing me closer and closer to the edge of the abyss.

Reaching down between our bodies I decide to move things along, feeling for your thick hard cock through your jeans, the size of it takes my breath away; I can’t wait to feel it inside me. I try to free it with one hand but can’t, belts and fly buttons need two hands, I know that I need two hands but right now the only thing keeping me upright is my hand on your shoulder, every nerve in my body is screaming arousal, the tingle starting in my toes.

Then I hear your voice in my ear “On your knees” without a second thought for my jeans on the filthy wet floor I kneel down and look up into your face, and watch as you slowly undo your belt, slowly un-doing your top few fly buttons. In my kneeling position the seam of my jeans it pushing hard against my clit, I want to start slightly moving my hips to get the full benefits of the pressure. I gasp, as your cock is revealed to me, thick and long. I’m torn, I know what you want but I need to feel it inside me, I’m desperate to feel my pussy contracting hard and wet on your cock as I cum. But this is no longer about what I want your cock is in front of my face and I can’t resist. Reaching up wrapping my hand around your shaft, it feels so solid and hot I know you are just as close to cuming as I am. Reaching forward I guide your cock to my mouth, a shiny drop of pre-cum glistening in the flashing lights as I lean in and take the end in my mouth.

Swirling my tongue round the tip I realise just how big it is and I know that I won’t be able to handle much of it, so I start to slowly wank your shaft into my mouth, working in time to the music which has slowed in tempo, but the bass is banging hard and insistant, just like the pulse between my legs signalling my orgasm approaching fast. Your hands rest on my shoulders, your grip increasing as I start to suck harder on your cock, one hand moving up in to my hair holding my head as you start to take over the rhythm, fucking my mouth, pulling slightly on my hair.

Then suddenly you stop pulling me to my feet your hand still in my hair, the other hand reaching down between my legs, I’m sure you can feel my wetness through my jeans. Then you’re undoing them, your fingers instantly inside my knickers, and before I can catch my breath your finger fucking me hard, two fingers, then three. Having seen your cock I know you’re getting me ready for your cock, opening me up slowly. I thrust against your hand aching for you to touch my clit. Just the slightest touch will make me cum.

Suddenly I feel empty as you stop, “Open your mouth” you say and I know that your fingers are heading for my mouth, and I smile as I feel them slide into my mouth, tasting my juices on your fingers sucking hard tasting my own juices.

Then your spinning me round, pushing me up against the wall, kissing my neck, running your hands down my back and then grasping the waistband of my jeans pulling them down past my knees. Suddenly I can hear all the people on the metals staircase and I know that at any moment one of them could look down and see me standing there with my jeans round my knees, as you run your fingers over my arse cheeks. Your hands stop moving and suddenly I feel them on my hips, your foot between my legs pushing my feet further apart your grip increasing then suddenly I feel it.

The tip of your cock pushing against me, you have it in your fist and you’re running it up and down my wetness, teasing me, pausing and then I gasp as you slowly enter me, your cock rests just inside me, I want to push back but your hands hold my hips so hard I can’t move. After what seems like an age, but is really a few seconds you start to move slowly filling me. I can feel my orgasm building the tingling in my body increasing, my pussy starting to throb. Then I feel your fingers on my clit, one touch is all it takes and the combination of your cock filling me, stretching me and the pressure on my clit, every nerve in my body is tingling and I begin to shake, my breath leaving my body as my orgasm explodes, my pussy contracting hard on your cock, every pulse covering your cock with my cum.

Before I have time to recover you pull your cock out and spin me round again, kissing me once hard and then forcing me back down onto my knees “Oh I’m going to enjoy this” you say as you guide your cock back towards my mouth, and your cock is in my mouth its slippery with my cum and my mouth moves faster and easier over it taking more into my mouth than I thought I could handle, instinctively my hand wrapping round the shaft starting to slowly move up and down, increasing the pressure, my other hand squeezing your balls feeling them tighten knowing your about to cum, anticipating that first hot salty spurt on my tongue sliding down the back of my throat.

Pushing my hand away, you pull back slightly so that just the tip of your cock is in my mouth, looking down at me, your lift my chin with your finger “I’m going to cum all over your beautiful face” you say as you start wanking your shaft harder and harder, just far enough so that it’s just resting on my lips knowing that in just a few moments you cum will be running down my face, on my cheeks, my chin. Your head jerks back and I close my eyes as I feel the first hot sticky spurt gush out over my lips, then on my cheek, then the other cheek, it keeps pumping and I feel it running down my chin, dripping down onto my tits, you stand there with your back against the wall breathing hard as you recover, looking down into my face and seeing your cum glistening the lights that hit us through the crowds, you reach down and take my hand pulling me to my feet.

Reaching into your back pocket you pull out some tissue and wipe my face, that perfect mouth kissing my face as you wipe me clean, the end of my nose, my cheeks and then finally on my mouth. Soft gentle kisses, kisses that make me want to do it all over again.

Finally after you have helped me pull up my jeans, you push my hair behind my ear and lean in to whisper in my ear. “Later it will be you wiping your cum off my face.” Giving me one final kiss you let go of me and let me drift into the crowd finding my friends, going back to yours knowing that later we will be doing that all over again.

BIT LATE TO TELL ME NOW!

Blasts from the past just keep getting more and more interesting.

As I said before there are a few blasts from the past, that have been popping up in 'real' life. People that I have shagged in the past that is one thing, but this is a whole lot more interesting.

We all have someone maybe from our pasts that we all think, 'I wish I had got to fuck you at least once.'

Well one of mine has shall we say re-emerged and guess what? HE WISHES WE HAD TOO!

Talk about flabbergasted, I've been smiling about it all weekend, majorly flattered of course, finding out that someone who I've always though was a bit of a hottie, but was way out of my league. Actually not out of my league (as if that would happen, JOKE), but definitely someone that I never thought would never have been interested in me, to find that he actually has been having naughty thoughts about me for, oh about 20 years apparently, that feels very very good!

Shame he decided to wait and tell me after he has moved away to the West Country. BIT LATE TO TELL ME NOW!

If only he had still been here, or even a little bit nearer, I would have been more than happy to show him what he had missed out on. Although to be fair and entirely honest, in the old days, I was no where near so good in bed as I am now, but shhhh don't tell anyone those that enjoyed the experience back then might feel a bit cheated. So if he had fucked me when I was in my early 20's he possibly wouldn't have been quite as impressed. This is definitely a case where practice really does make perfect. And I am a great believer that women especially don't come into their own in the sexual arena until they reach their 30's. I remember reading an article in a men's magazine once - quite why I was reading a men's magazine I don't know. I'm not talking top shelf stuff, just Maxim or GQ something like that. Anyway this article was about how when a woman hits 30, she is much more likely to be open to trying out things, something I would definitely agree with. Since I hit 30 although I might have had less sex than I did in my 20's, it's been very good and sometimes down right dirty amazing sex, with a few very happy men!

Irony of it all is, both of us back in the day did our fair share of spreading the love around our small but fun little town, but never did each other. I asked him about it on Saturday and his reply, he thought I was always Miss Confident and would never be interested. And being a man that has. let's say a certain image to preserve, never tried where he thought he might fail. As for me, I thought he was Mr Cool, the women he was seen with were always rather cool, a bit hippy chic, definitely nothing like me. I have had people say this to me before, that when I was/am out and about with the girls, I can sometimes come across as Miss Confident/Unapproachable, little do they know, nothing is further from the truth. Guess I am a much better actress than I ever thought.

Irony number two, is that he was only the second man that I know, to find out about the existence of 'Lola' which feels a little odd, to say the least. He seems to quiet like the idea of the naughty minx. But can I be her for someone I have known for what seems like forever, when I am finding it harder to be 'Lola' for those who only know her,and near impossible to be her for those that know the real me. Even Mr Fantastic Phone Sex, I seem to be loosing the ability to be Lola with him, the naughty, dirty minx that attracted him at first, not sure I can be her anymore. Not when it's me that wants him not Lola!

Anyway, all this has got me thinking about the real me and the past (cue a few more posts about blast from the past and sex in strange places) and that actually do you know what, I have in the past had a ball.

xxxx

THE BIRTH OF AN ALTER EGO

So anyone who has read this blog from the start will know that I came into this as a woman with a decimated heart. So how did plans for revenge turn into an alter ego?

When me and Mr X were an item, one of the things that I found it very hard to come to terms with, were the vast numbers of what I then termed 'facebook sluts' (hey guess who's one of them now!) who were added daily to his friends list. I couldn't understand where the hell they all came from?

I did ask him once, his excuse, they saw a man in uniform and added him! At the time I thought nothing more of it but as timw went on and things got worse, I began to think hang on, why’s that, after all he was not a young, fit, hot, soldier/sailor/policeman/fireman, (I mention them all to protect the not so innocent!) That I could understand but a man who was slightly overweight and in his profile picture looks more than a little odd, a bit like a cross between Pigsy from Monkey Magic and Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. Yes, yes, I was with someone less than attractive, but remember love is blind people and I established a long time ago that for me it’s not what a person looks like, it’s what they do for my head!

So where the hell were all these girls coming from? Did I ever consider that in fact he was adding them, of course not! Alarm bells should have been flooding my mind with harsh sounds, but no. Wrapped in my safety blanket of love, my usual good judgement and natural cynicism went out the window and I was completely and utterly oblivious to the seedy world he existed in.

My best friend has since said, it was like he was a paedophile grooming a young girl, he was saying everything I wanted to hear - or what he thought I needed to hear.

The irony of it all, I am definitely not that girl, we all know them the type of girl that a man needs to promise the world to get a shag, never have been and never will be. Anyone who knows me through facebook and has got to know me well, will have got the picture that I'm pretty much up for it, I like sex way too much to be that choosey, so all the bullshit and the promises were unnecessary to start off with which makes them in hindsight all the harder to swallow.

In fact it took another player (FBD) to make me wise up and accept what was right in front of my eyes. It was at the party of a good friend. I hadn't seen FBD for a while, well not since the incident just after Mr X had left and FBD had sorted me out with some proper sex! He had been on holiday for a few weeks and I wasn't expecting to see him at the party seeing as he had only got back that lunchtime. But as I arrived at the party with friends I saw his car, and it all sort of fell into place from there, from the outset we both knew how the evening would end. That was the first night we went a little bit more public, people saw us dancing together and also leaving together!

OK so officially I was still Mr X's girlfriend, however the enormity of his lies and deception was already in my head but I had just pushed it firmly to the back of my mind, if I didn't think about it, it wasn't real and I didn't have to face the awful truth of it all.

That night FBD and I had a good catch up, both in bed and out and finally I started to accept the truth or more like he made me see the truth! I would like to think that he did it because deep down he really cared about me, but I have a little idea that once again he was doing it for purely selfish reasons, he was worried about the rather amazing sex stopping. He made me sit down, albeit in a very drunken state and look at things rationally; forcing me to step outside my feelings for a while (not hard when the best part of a bottle of Jack Daniels had been consumed). Asking what would I be thinking if this was happening to one of my friends, if I saw a man treating one of my friends like this, what I would say to her, to make her see sense.

As the sun came up and I started to sober up slightly and with the clarity of mind bought on by a little bit of Colombia’s finest, (ok so not clarity but very focused) not something I ever do anymore, but in this instance it seemed fitting. As I sat there watching another man sleep, I finally kind of accepted that the man I was in love with had played me well and truly, the wife that had supposedly left him, was still very much his wife! The future I had envisaged for myself and we had talked about was never going to happen.

For a few more weeks though I still found myself making excuses for it, dragging it out, however by this time I was really just pushing for him to tell me the truth, to be a man and tell me that it was over, but no he kept stringing me along, excuse after excuse.

After I finally took the step and called time on the relationship. I tried to get on with things, but the more I found out about the depths of his lies, the depth of which I could never ever predicted, the more I found out the worse and worse things appeared. And the more I found out the more I needed to get back at him and finally a plan started in my head. I had to become someone else to see exactly what he was up to.

The main problem now being that for a while there I lost sight of what Lola was created for - REVENGE. A revenge that seemed to have seeped away and I haven't if I'm honest done half the things I anticipated, hopefully the saying that 'revenge is a dish best served cold' will work in my favour, because this cold dish is about to be served, on a silver platter, uniformed waiting staff, the full shebang!

Quite how far this revenge is going to go I'm still working on. Can I really be as callous as I originally intended to be, can I really do that to another woman, tell her what a lying cheating down and dirty bastard her husband is. Does any woman ever really need to know that? How would I feel if someone approached me out of the blue and told me, would I even believe it? Probably not, will it make me feel better doing it? No. However it will be immensely satisfying, not just for me, but for other people who have seen me through the deepest darkest days of my life.

If I'm honest I have no 'feelings' for him anymore, haven't done for a long time, unless you count pity. Why pity? Because his life must be so empty and devoid of fun and love that he needs to behave in this manner. Having now seen what he does to get his kicks, a happy person in a loving and fulfilling marriage doesn’t need to do that. I should be satisfied just knowing this and yet I still feel pity, is that sign that there are the teeniest remainder of feelings there, or is it perhaps the evidence that no matter what, I am always going to be the better person, that despite the way he treated me, I still have the compassion within me to feel pity and sorrow for him.

Why am I telling you all this now? Well there is of course every chance that with the reason behind Lola about to be put to rest I may feel the need to leave her behind completely. At the moment it is a rather emotive issue for me, can I be Lola when there is no longer a reason for her existence?

I have had a whale of a time, made some amazing friends, had some seriously sexy exchanges, all of which has made me so much more aware of who I actually am, what I what from life and also what I don’t want from a relationship. But what it has made me realise is that ultimately, that is what I want, a relationship, the future that we discussed and talked about that’s what I need. Ideally with someone who can be my friend, my lover and accept me for who I am, who can stimulate me both mentally and physically, appreciate my shall we say, slightly dirty mind, but I now reality has kicked in and I accept that there are not many men out there who would be willing to accept the existence of Lola and still be able to see me for the person that I really am, yes there are men who know ME and are very appreciative of that naughtier side of me, and as much as I want it in some cases (one in particular very much so) if I am honest with myself, it’s never going to happen.

The two are such poles apart; Lola is a caricature, a work of fiction! I have always had a very vivid imagination and maybe she is my greatest creation ever, but that is what she is a work of fiction, yes the thoughts are my own, what I have written about is about ‘me’ things that have happened to me in real life, none of it has ever been a lie, but there is so much more to me than Lola, maybe there is a tiny part of me that is her, I have taken the glimmer of her that exists within me and embellished her to become this caricature of a woman, like Jessica rabbit or Betty Boop, all woman but very much not real and any man that falls for Lola, probably isn’t going to get what he really wants from the real me.

Hey I may decide that Lola is still a part of me that I’m not ready to let go just yet, we shall see.

xxxxx

CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A FACIAL

If you ask most people what a facial was, they would think you meant something that you get at a spa!

Clarins, Dermalogica, Decleor, these are all facials that I have had in the past, but not the kind I'm thinking about now.

This time last year if someone had whispered the now forever ingrained in my mind words 'I want to cum in your beautiful face' I would have thought 'Oh dear, what about my hair!' Now you know by now that I have always been a little adventurous and up for most things in the sexual arena, but this is one thing that I have never really understood.

We've all had mistakes, badly aimed 'I'm going to cum on your tits' shots that end up in your eye, up your nose and running down your neck. But actual in your face, not in my mouth, but just in my face, whats that all about?

It's a subject that my best friend and I spent an entire meal discussing, it was my birthday dinner as it happened. There wasn't even any alcohol involved, it was just one of those conversations that me and her have whether we are sober or not. Quite often she will text me total filth and we spent a good couple of months trying to decide what an 'internal cum shot' was on the porn menu of one of our favourite sites. I even had to text FBD once and ask him, as a connoisseur of porn, whether he had ever seen a double, double penetration in a film, the reason. How could we entertain all the members of Take That in one go, with and with out Robbie!

Anyway the Saturday before I had sent her a text asking her what she was up to, her reply, watching porn. Now this is nothing that shocks me, apart from the fact that it was only about 7pm and I kind of thought that she might be busy getting her kids ready for bed! Anyway for some reason not sure why I replied 'Oh what site you on?' Needless to say she told me and later that night - yep I was on there have a good perv.

So anyway during the birthday dinner, somehow or another we got onto what we had been watching and no surprises for us (we are very connected and a little bit freaky according to her husband)we had been watching the same clips. And although we are both a little naughty, we both also find some of it highly amusing.

What's amusing us the most right now is the ladies that seem to squirt across the room! Most girls have experienced that in a small way, but some of what i have seen has made me think that its either camera trickery or its wee!

But this then bought us on to the subject of facials, as I said earlier the now immortal words 'I want to cum in your beautiful face' have been forever etched in my brain, hey who cares what the situation, being told your beautiful is always flattering. But there is also the whole 'I want you to cum all over my face' and I have to admit that sometimes I may have played on this and told him to 'open your mouth your face is getting it next.'

Now I'm curious as to why the idea of me on my knees in front of him and cuming in my face would be such a turn on. Is it about messing up my beautiful face, is it just the idea that I'm doing what he wants, not too sure, maybe I will have to ask him. I must admit I do have a fantasy, well its not just a fantasy it is something I may have indulged in in the past, on my knees in front of my man sucking hard on his cock, but I like to look up at him see his face as I work on his cock. It has been said in the past that it is very sexy looking into a ladies eyes as she does nothing but give you pleasure.

Anyway back to my original idea for this little post, all these woman that you see on the Internet that are squirting across the room, how the bloody hell do they do it? They seem to be really enjoying it, and I'm not talking the pro's here, I like my porn home-made, and amateurish, and when you see so called home-made stuff that's been posted on some sites and these ladies are doing it you kind of get the impression that they are really, really enjoying it and it's not acting or trickery, and that makes me a little envious.

So for now, the jury is out, maybe the idea of giving a guy a facial is a turn on, the idea of being that turned on you can achieve that, that in itself is horny.

Would I get on my knees and risk stuck together eyelashes and cum all over my face, for someone that made me so horny I was even willing to risk getting it in my hair, hell yeah! There are some people that you would do anything for (well almost anything) people who fill your thoughts with pleasures of the flesh, who with a word or a picture can make you stomach flip and your knickers wet. For that person I would do anything.

I think this lady is going to be investing in some waterproof mascara.

xxxxx

IS IT TIME TO LOOK FOR A NEW FANTASY?

Here's my problem, I have sex with myself A LOT!

If I was a man, you could definitely refer to me as a right wanker!

The problem though is this, for a while now I have been relying on more of less the same little scenario to get me there!

Occasionally a new one will pop into my head, mainly from chats online, or something someone says to me, but when it comes down to it, the same one is always there in the back of my mind.

But recently I have noticed something, it's not always getting me there!

Now the way I see it there are many reasons this could be, one of course being that someone (aka my amazing phone sex friend) has been throwing a little spice into the mix on the phone and his thoughts have influenced my own even when he's not on the other end of the phone.

Or secondly it's time to get a new fantasy.

There have been others, some of them very good such as the spanking I kept thinking about, but when it comes down to it, if I'm feeling horny and need to get there quick this particular little scenario always does it for me normally, add to that Mr Rabbit and it really doesn't normally take much else.

I have tried the usual things, imagining having sex with someone famous and hell how many times and different scenarios can you come up with involving Danny Dyer before it starts being like boring relationship sex! I even tried Kelly Jones from the Stereophonics and it's just not the same.

On Friday night I even had a weird sci-fi sex dream! It could have been the mix of Lemsip, Jack Daniels and Neurofen. Or it could have been my love for the film Barbarella - anyone who's seen the film will know that there are so many fantasies that could result from her antics. I mean hello, she gets to fuck an angel!

So anyway back to 'the' fantasy, its always a slight variation of the same thing, I have mentioned it briefly before. I like to imagine I'm being watched, and depending on where I am, it varies slightly from an obedient naughty boy standing at the end of my bed watching as I pleasure myself, knowing that if he stays really still and doesn't touch his cock I will eventually let him join in. The other current fave is someone watching me through the window, not necessarily someone I even know, but man it's good. The idea of many be the postman (not my postman of course, but a fit young postman) walking past the window and spotting me on the sofa my legs wide, my eyes closed, as I work my clit hard. Of course in the fantasy I know he is there and I am pretending that I can't see him.

It hasn't gone totally un-noticed to me that this fantasy always involves me having sex with myself, no audience participation as it were, maybe it because these days that's what I know best.

So maybe it's not time to get a new fantasy, maybe it's just time for me to get myself some real action!

Conclusion there's nothing wrong with the fantasy, it's just that Lola needs to get laid!

xxxxxx

HOW DO I GET WHAT I WANT AND DO I REALLY WANT IT?

Oh well it's been a strange old week, firstly it was my birthday, something which never sits well with me.

I'm not someone who can do happy, lets have a party just because of a date, if I don't feel like going out why should I just because it's my birthday, after a certain age there is no reason to celebrate getting even older. The best nights are those that unplanned, spontaneous and end up being the kind of night you remember for a long time.

So anyway back to how to get what I really want? This is a little bit of a conundrum for me, for a while now I've been pretty certain about something I really want (yes it is man shaped) and the majority of my naughty thoughts have been taken up by this person for quite a while now, but it's just not happening and I'm starting to think it never will and was never going to.

Is my semi reliance on this one person for adding a little zing to things, holding me back, is it a pipe dream, am I chasing rainbows.

Second part of the conundrum is one of my blasts from the past, not a big blast but a blast none the less, I think I may have developed a little teeny tiny crush, in a very school girl (which I am way, way past being) kind of way. Maybe its just that he has shown an interest in me, the real me, nothing to do with Lola, he wasn't attracted by a pair of tits, or shapely legs in stocking and suspenders, maybe that's what I need a little bit of normality.

But can I go back to normality? A small part of me is thinking that I would only be doing that because I'm not getting what it is I actually really want. Yes I had a little fling with blast number two in the dim and distant past, a quick knee trembler in a car park of a night club (yes more outside fucking, it seems to be a bit of a habit) but as with FBD do I really need to go backwards.

Ah FBD conundrum part three, not spoken to him or even chatted online, but have been asked some very tricky questions about 'us' by people I didn't even know knew anything about it! Why didn't it work out? What did we fall out over? How can I turn my back on something that was so good? All these questions have made me think about it, I never want to go back to how it was before, but on of the questions asked was what if he turned round tomorrow and said right lets do it properly, what would my reaction be.

This has all made my mind go into melt down, I'm not the strongest person in the world when it comes to all this stuff, the last few days have made me realise that I just don't do feelings very well, and when I do get 'feelings' of any kind, even lust I seem to go into slight melt down, become a typical woman and over think absolutely everything.

I know what I think I want, I've been waiting for it for long enough, but what if the idea of that is holding me back from something real, especially if it's something that I'm never going to get.

The irony of it all has been pointed out to me tonight is that physically all three are very similar and even worse is that the object of my desires is so like FBD in so many ways now its been pointed out to me is a little bit freaky, both like to party hard, both make me weak at the knees and damp in the knickers with their filthy minds, but there are other similarities, complex minds and backgrounds. One knows so much about me, things that I have never told anyone else in my entire life and vice versa. But in the same way the other I think could be well on the way to being like that as well, I dont think there is anything I couldn't tell him, he has access to all of my thoughts he gets to see what I think and more importantly what Lola thinks.

Conundrum part two man, even though he could be a passing fancy, something to keep me entertained for a Milli-second, he doesn't really figure in this at all!

When it comes down to it main difference one is the past and one is what I hoped would be the future! Although if I am entirely honest both are quite possibly as unlikely to happen as the other. So now I just have to get my over active mind to get used to that idea!

xxx

SHOULD THE PAST BE LEFT IN THE PAST?

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WHERE DOES LOLA GO FROM HERE?

Is it still fun?

Do I still need Lola in my life?

Is it time to let the real me have a little more fun?

Questions that have been floating about in my head over the last few days, mainly because they have been put there by someone!

Thought provoking online chats, chats that have left my pussy throbbing and my head pounding, finally someone who has been inquisitive enough to look further than Lola from the outset. No weeks of flirting and getting to know each other, or rather them getting to know Lola, just BANG straight in there why do I feel the need to hide behind a persona when I am clearly a very special person (his words not mine, before you think I'm getting big headed).

So as I said in my post on Sunday I've fallen into this trap before though, let myself get caught up in the whirlwind of that first flirtation and those first naughty exchanges. That hasn't turned out too well, so where to go from here? What I have realised is that what I have failed to accept up until now, is that the vast majority of these people no matter how many questions they ask, the hours spent online flirting and getting to know each other no matter what I do, or reveal about my real self, some of these people no matter how I feel about them, will NEVER see past Lola and never see me as anything but Lola and why should they, that was what attracted them in the first place, whether it be through facebook or through the blog, it was Lola with her legs or tits, that attracted them to me, so why would they want to see anything but Lola.

This man has he got under my skin! In a way that hasn't happened for a while, the difference being this time he is very keen to merge the fantasy with the reality (arghhh scary). This is someone who makes me smile and laugh out loud, but also makes me want to be very very naughty indeed. I am amazed that in a very short time he has got into my head - which is definitely the quickest way to get into my knickers.

What is it they say that the largest erogenous zone that we humans have is the mind!

That's the beauty of modern technology, msn, AIM, email and text messaging have made it possible for us to make each other cum hard, fuck each others brains out, without actually being in the same room, or without actually meeting each other in some cases.

Am I hiding behind Lola, she was only ever supposed to be around for a few months to set up Mr X and then she would disappear quietly and I would go back to being me!

I'm not saying it's time to go back to just being me, but is it time to start merging the two a little more?

The last few posts have been a lot more personal, a fact that a few friends have picked up on and have said they preferred them, because they are a little more 'me' and these are people I have got to know very well.

So I think that inadvertently Lola is becoming a little more me, but what about real life can real life become a little more Lola?

Can I take the risk, try and see if I can merge the two. Two things are certain, my face and my name are still mine. Lola, will forever be faceless, those who have seen my face are the privileged few, those that know my name even fewer and that's the way I like it.

So can I take the risk, still not sure but a few more thought provoking chats may help me to come to the decision.

Sorry deep and not at all naughty again - don't worry I'll give you something dirty soon.

xxx

RANDOM!

Yes I am feeling very random, I have things in my head that are bothering me.

They won't go away and I feel the need to put them to bed so to speak so that the craziness that's going on in my head at the moment can quieten down and let me enjoy the evening.

It's been a strange old few days. I was starting to have doubts about whether 'Lola' was what I really wanted anymore. I guess I just got a little fed up with it always being so one-sided, always on other peoples terms, not mine and that was never supposed to be the way it worked.

Why should I listen to someone wanking in the middle of the night when I can't even speak (long story) when I know dammed well that if I'm feeling horny and wanted the same, it's not going to happen! But is that what I should expect as Lola?

Then the weekend has kind of made up for that, I re-discovered my friends list and a couple of really good fun chats with people made things seem much better.

I have perhaps got myself stuck in a rut and have been relying on people that I perhaps shouldn't for my fun, maybe it's times to realise that, that particular fun is over and they have obviously moved onto filthiness new, so perhaps I should too.

Something strange has happened to me in the last 48 hours as well I have been a lot more 'open' with people than I have ever even thought about before.

Scary? Very, but also a little freeing if that makes sense. More of the complete me rather than just 'Lola' and refreshing to find that there are people that want to know more about me than just the naughty persona and that see through the Lolaness of it all.

I've fallen into this trap before though, let myself get caught up in the whirlwind of that first flirtation and those first naughty exchanges. That hasn't turned out too well, so where to go from here?

I'm more open to things though, even giving some suggestions that have been made some serious consideration.

I'm going to give Lola a reprieve for now, but we shall see, maybe Lola is losing her appeal not just for me but for others as well.

xx

THE BEST SEX EVER

What counts as great sex?

Does great sex have to be with someone who's in the same room?

Is it actually possibly that the best, most compatible sex you ever had, could be with someone you've never met?

Just a few of the questions floating around in my increasingly empty mind in the last few days. How did it start? In the usual way a girly night out! Yep me and my ladies talking about sex, yet again.

Only problem we weren't keeping it to ourselves this time, there seemed to be a whole array of various people joining in on the discussion.

Imagine then being asked the question "What's the best sex you ever had?" by the nephew of the person you had the best sex ever with, when his nephew and indeed most of your friends don't even know you've fucked him!

But it got me thinking, if it's about the best sex, does that necessarily mean in these times of phone, text and online chat sex, that the best sex you ever had, could be with someone you've never actually met?

So even though I was a good JD or eight down the bottle, I started thinking about whether FBD (the guy from the last post) was he really the best sex ever, or just the best actual sex ever, because I'm starting to think that the best sex I ever had wasn't the kind I have had in real life!

Firstly it got me thinking back to the early days of Lola, the first incarnation as it were, when it was all new and very un-known and when for one reason or another I seemed to be permanently horny. Ironically it was these early days when I was a walking jumble of ranging horniness, that me and FBD finally fell apart, mainly I should add because he couldn't cope with Lola - the part of me, that he had helped unleash, he couldn't cope with!

Anyway back in the early days, it was all about the unknown, and that appealed to me back then - like many many faceless one night stands without the embarrassment of waking up next to someone you don't know, or having to do the walk of shame at some stupid time in the morning because you have crept out before Mr Faceless wakes up!

I digress in the early days of Lola it was purely faceless unknown and very very dirty and at the time I loved it. Some of those originals are still with me, some aren't. Some have become very good friends and some have become a close to me as my best friends.

And another, well he could be coming very close to the best sex I ever had!

I have found myself questioning it over the last few days, best actual sex has to begrudgingly go to FBD and ironically it was also last time we ever had sex.

It was a cold boring Saturday morning, we had been in the pub drinking together the night before, but for some reason, can't remember why, we hadn't gone home together, which in it's self was very unusual for us. I was lying in my bed, cup of tea, packet of Duchy of Cornwall stem ginger and dark chocolate cookies (my favourite) and crap Saturday TV. My phone bleeped a text, was nice and cosy and did actually consider ignoring it, but when I saw who it was from I couldn't resist. All it said was.

"If your home alone text yes, if not ignore me"

Well what's a girl to do but say yes, was I intrigued you bet. So I sent the appropriate reply. By now I was sitting up in bed any thoughts of biscuits or cups of tea out of my head. Waiting for another text I could feel the excitement rising. Knowing him as well as I did, I knew it would be good, always was.

Finally it arrived "I'm coming round to fuck you, you need to be wearing your sexiest underwear, you know which ones I really like. Knee length boots, and when you answer the door I want you to take charge. You have 20 minutes"

Just reading it I could feel myself getting wet. This was quite a departure for him, previously he had always been very much in charge. Jumping out of bed I quickly jumped in the shower, my nipples were already rock hard and soaping them with shower gel made them tingle, followed by the ZING of that invisible connection between your nipples and clit, making just showering very very difficult. Did I have time for a shower time quickie, not really but I could very possibly give myself a little tease making sure that when he arrived I was more then ready to welcome him in.

I have to admit that I was a naughty girl and had a little rub of my clit, feeling my juices stirring and the zing turning into a definite throb. He wanted sexy and me in control he was going to get it! Black and silver corset, with attached black suspenders, black fishnets and to top it all off knee high black patent leather boots with heels (mmm should sound familiar see my picture).

Looking at my watch I realised that the 20 mins was up, the anticipation of it all was going a long way to making me very very horny, the evidence of this starting to coat the tops of my thighs. As I waited by the front door I could feel my pussy lips rubbing together in my wetness, sowing the seed of an idea - he wanted me in charge he was going to get it!

Leaning my back against the front door I let my fingers stray downwards, just rubbing and teasing my clit, still not enough pressure to make myself cum, just enough to keep my on the brink.

The knock startled me and I took a second before I answered, checking the spy hole (best not greet the postman looking like madame whiplash) I could see him standing there, my heart gave a lurch - remember feelings were involved here. As I opened the door with one hand I rubbed my clit with the other and as he walked through the door and as soon as he realised what I was doing, I removed my hand and slid my sticky wet fingers into his mouth.

Grabbing him by his belt I pulled him towards me and slide my tongue into his mouth tasting my juices on his lips. I started walking back wards up the stairs and still without saying anything he knew to follow me up. As I reached the top of the stairs I turned round and opened my legs slightly wider, looking at him, I put my hand on his chest to stop him coming up any further, moving my hands to his shoulders I pushed down.

"I got a little excited waiting for you, lick me clean"

Never one to have to be asked twice to get his tongue involved, he was on his knees a few stairs lower than me and his tongue was starting to work its magic. I was so turned on already that I knew there was a very good chance that I might cum just from this, especially if he was to add a finger or two, that would be it.

Looking down I could see his cock straining in his jeans and the thought of what was behind his flies was making my mouth water. But I had to stay in control, not launch myself on his cock! No if I was going to do this properly and why the hell shouldn't I, I was going to make the most of it. The combination of the situation, what his clever tongue was doing and the naughty thoughts in my head, made for a potent cocktail and I came hard and fast, my fingernails digging into his shoulders.

On very shaky legs I made me way to my bedroom and knowing what was hidden under the pillows I lay back against them, opening my legs slightly so that he could see quite clearly the effects of what had already happened.

"Start undressing, jeans last and nice and slow" I said.

Watching as he raced to get out of his clothes, when he was down to jeans only, I could feel the anticipation building knowing that the thick hard cock that was waiting behind the prison of denim was going to give me vast amounts of pleasure quite shortly. I could see the dominant side of him starting to reassert itself, rather then taking off his jeans nice and slow as I had said he just undid them and started to rub his shaft through the fabric, slowly starting to ease them down a little so I could see the head just peaking out of the top of his fly.

"I said undress, and I didn't say you could touch yourself did I?" Time to regain the upper hand I thought.

As I said this I reached my hand under the pillow and pulled out my favourite toy, starting to tease my already very sensitive clit. Watching his face, knowing that any minute now he was going to either explode and cum all over his jeans, or he wouldn't be able hold back anymore and he would possibly pull me down the bed by my ankles and slide his cock hard and fast inside me. I was starting to think that although I was enjoying having the upper hand, I was in desperate need of his cock. Trying to gauge his mood I carried on teasing, watching his face as he also battled with his need to take over and the obvious enjoyment he was getting from me being in charge.

Dilemma? definitely. Kind of goes back to what I said in can women be truly dominant I enjoy taking charge, but in the long run, what do I want? Well, I wanted him to throw me down and ravish me. But in this situation where he was so specific in his desires, that he had taken time to think about it before hand, something he had never done before, was this just a time that I needed to just carry on as it was going and forget the increasing throbbing need between my legs for his cock. Luckily I didn't have to deliberate much longer, he solved the problem for me.

"If I don't fuck you soon, I will be cuming all over myself." He said, at the same time as I had predicted grabbing my ankles and pulling me down the bed kneeling in the end of the bed he pulled my legs up high and slid his cock in hard and fast, no teasing, no gentleness, just full on hard and fast.

I don't know what it was that made this encounter so good, especially as ultimately it turned out to be the last time, part of me in a weird way thinks I kind of knew that whilst it was happening. Maybe its was a good thing, anything after that may have been difficult to beat.

So that was the best real sex, so how about what I said about is it possible that the best sex is with someone you never even met.

I have long thought that the greatest erogenous zone we have is the mind, hell as someone who owns about 50 plus black lace erotic novels, that in itself shows that for me its all about what goes on my head. But what if you had someone who could do that for you?

Someone who always said the right thing, who instinctively knows what to say to make things go with a zing. Just hearing his voice makes that twitch in my knickers happen, even if we are just talking about normal stuff, no sex involved, just hearing him say he's laying on his bed and my knickers - if indeed I am wearing any, are getting damp.

People often ask me how do you know your a good shag and I often reply, "I have sex with myself a lot and I think I'm fucking amazing." Maybe that combined with the added benefits of someone who can make me feel so horny, and say all the right things to make it something mind blowing. Maybe that is the best sex ever.

xx

CAN ANYTHING MORE THAN A ONE NIGHT STAND BE NO STRINGS SEX!

We have all done it, well most of us anyway. Yep the one night stand.

I know very few people who haven't had one. Hell between the ages of about 18 and 21 my life could possibly have been classified as one long one night stand!

OK I had the odd few that I just fucked now and again when neither of us had managed to pull anyone else. In my defence I grew up in a small town so the amount of talent was limited and you didn't want to end up shagging the dregs did you.

But can someone you fuck more than once and start getting to know, can that still be called no-strings sex. I get so fed up with people referring to people that they frequently bump uglies with their fuck buddy - there is no such thing as a fuck buddy, bloody sex and the city again! Speaking from a purely female perspective (I haven't asked any of my male friends) you cannot have sex with someone regularly, waking up with them, hearing about their lives without having some feelings for them.

How do I know this? I speak from experience! I was a fully fledged grown up as well not a silly giggly late teen, shamefully over 30 and I ended up falling hook line and sinker, so much so that for the best part of four and a half years I didn't have sex with anyone else but him - the ex doesn't count really because of the Mr. Floppy situation!

But the worst thing is that this was someone that I initially had a shameful one night stand with - amazing sex but shameful none the less. Shameful why? Because he was someone who in the past I wouldn't have even shagged with someone else's girly bits. The local boy bike, that everyone seemed to have shagged at some point. He had a nasty reputation, he was a bit of a player, had distributed DVD's of him fucking his last girlfriend up the arse and had a habit of trying to get every girl he fucked to replay what had happened in that video - he had definitely read that graffiti in the toilets at the pub! But not me I had managed to avoid that for a good 10 or more years.

But hey it's surprising what you will do when you have mixed your drinks - JD and Coke, Pimms, Cider and Bacardi and Coke when the JD ran out.

If I hadn't mixed my drinks I would never have started discussing porn with him at a BBQ, and certainly would have never invited him back to mine to watch the said porn film, if we hadn't watched the film neither of us would have got so horny and we certainly would never have had the filthy and quite amazing sex that we ended up having.

And this proves my theory, after this initial encounter - which certainly broadened my horizons in more than one way! (This particular encounter was where I discovered that double penetration was good, cock in pussy, and small vibe in my arse and also that if the said vibe was turned on it was very enjoyable for both of us). After this initial encounter, I had no desire whatsoever to go there again and appreciated it for what it was, a night of amazing sex with someone that I had never really imagined myself with and someone that I wouldn't really want to fuck again.

Secretly I was a little bit embarrassed for having fucked him, I had just become another notch on boy bike's bedpost! Not something I was going to broadcast I didn't even tell my best friend who I usually tell everything. And after that initial encounter never gave him anymore thought. Well not until about three or four months later I bumped into him in the pub, both of us were trying to avoid saying anything and avoiding the fact that we had seen each other naked, but it wasn't awkward.

Next thing I know I am at home, having got back and changed into my PJ's and he is knocking on my door. Before I have even shut the front door he has me up against the wall and is pulling my pj's down and his finger immediately hit the spot, as he slid his fingers in between my pussy lips, he slid his tongue into my mouth and started rubbing around my clit nice and slow before starting to push 2 fingers inside my bubbling pussy. Still with his fingers inside me he pulled me through the door into the kitchen.

Best thing about him was his un-predictability I never knew what he was going to try next. Pulling his fingers out he lifted me up on to the worktop just resting my arse on the edge as he put my legs over his shoulders, pushing me backwards against the wall he went for gold - his tongue flicking a nice fast pace on my clit, as he finger fucked me hard and fast. Just as i was about to cum, he pulled me off the worktop spun me round and before I had time to register what was happening he was pushing his rock hard cock inside me, fucking me hard as I tried to get my hand between the cupboard and me so that I could rub my clit. He was pushing me so hard against the side that I couldn't get my hand down there. It didn't seem to matter it was one of those times when I was so horny that it I was just enjoying being fucked it wasn't about cuming it was just about getting pounded hard by a master cocksman.

Needless to say that second night was just the start of many, sometimes we would go a couple of months without seeing each other. I knew he was seeing other people as well, but pretty quickly I started to get those dreaded feelings. How could two people that had such amazing sex together not be meant to be together. The more I got to know him the more we both realised that we were the male/female versions of each other, we had both had had similar childhood and the same traumas growing up, and when we were together it was amazing, not just the sex but the compatibility.

Pretty soon though the whole things started making me feel really horrible. I started to feel very insecure about myself - if this guy who a few years ago I wouldn't have looked twice at didn't want to be with me, why would anyone else. I think that was when I started to doubt myself and that's when with my guard dropped I started chatting online to an old school friend and that old school friend turned out to be the callous, twisted man that is 'the' ex!

True to form, as soon as it became apparent that I was seeing someone else my so called fuck buddy suddenly realised that if I fell in love with someone or was seeing someone, he might start to miss out on all the great sex! Within weeks of me starting to see Mr X, FB was texting and popping round asking me to copy CDs for him and that kind of thing. One night when I was out with friends he would ask me if he could come round later. Strangely for me (fidelity never having been a part of my previous relationships) I said no, however this was good this was when he really became my friend.

When things started going wrong with Mr X guess who was there to offer me a shoulder to cry on! After a while, and after yet another frustrating visit from Mr X where he had been unable to fuck me properly yet again, FB popped round on the Friday night literally 24 hours after X had left. And 3 days of frustrations got the better of me and I started telling him what had happened, how my dream relationship wasn't working and how bad things had got. Up until this point our sex had always been very physical, he would never have been someone who could stimulate my dirty mind. But this night, he sat on the sofa with me, we had started watch a film and I was laying with my legs on his lap he told me slowly and quietly exactly what he would have been doing with me for 3 days. All the time gently stroking my lower legs.

I don't think he even got above my knees, but I was very aware of my pussy very wet, juices running down between my arse cheeks. Every time I moved even slightly I could feel my pussy lips rubbing together, making me even wetter. My nipples were rock hard and very obvious through my thin silk camisole top. In my head I was running through a few fantasy scenarios making the most of this feeling.

"Take your trousers off and get on the floor on all fours now, I said" the sound of his voice suddenly breaking through my fantasy. Pushing my legs off his lap he stood up and took my hand pulling me up. Reaching down he pulled the drawstring that held me trousers up and they fell to my feet. "On the floor" he said again. Without a second thought for what I was doing, or for Mr X I was on all fours on the floor. My pussy and arse lewdly displayed for him, and a lot more on show than normal given that one of Mr X's kinks was he liked to lay me on the bed and shave my pussy completely and FB obviously appreciated it! No sooner had I stuck my arse in the air, he was sliding his hard throbbing eight and a half inches straight inside my wetness.

No foreplay, just cock hard and fast. "Let's not fuck about, you need hard cock and if he can't give it to you I guess it's down to me." By this time he was pounding me hard his hands on my hips pulling me back hard against his cock, knowing from past experience that he could go on like this for a long time, I just surrendered myself to the joy of being filled by hot hard cock.

Afterwards I tried to convince myself that this had been my way of saying goodbye to him. Although Mr X was unable to fuck me properly he could manage all kinds of other things, all good. Not only that, sexually I wanted FB but in every other way I was 100% in love with Mr X and no matter what my love for him was stronger than my need for hard cock!

Not long after that things started to go wrong, not because of the sex, more to do with the fact that the evidence was becoming undeniable the stories of his wife not being quite so ex were all true, despite many opportunities to tell me the truth he denied her till the bitter end.

And guess who was waiting in the wings with more amazing sex, that was getting better and better, I had thought we had been doing the best for four years but this was out of this world, mind blowing sex. The kind of sex that has you grinning like an idiot in the supermarket as you get a flashback of something particularly naughty.

The irony of it all, that this so called Fuck Buddy, a man I had ever intended to even fuck in the first place, had taken the place of the man that could have been the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with!

So can someone you have sex with a lot, a fuck buddy to use that horrible term, can you fuck someone over and over again and it still be no-strings sex, the answer is most definitely NO!

xxxxx

SEX IN STRANGE PLACES - PART ONE

The question of sex in strange places came to mind during a very naughty msn chat with one of my facebook fav's, lets call him George (he chose the name not me) he's definitely another one of my facebook friends I would love to fuck. This particular chat followed on from a naughty text I had sent him over that weekend - blame the Jack Daniels I have!

It started with me saying that I'd love to join him in a sauna, something which I haven't done with him or anyone else I may hasten to add. I would be most concerned about suffocating whilst giving him an outstanding blow job. Oh and the the fact that all that humidity would totally ruin my hair.

It was a very hot msn exchange, I can't pin point exactly why, but there is something about him, maybe it the cheeky smile, or even the fact that he really is a dirty boy, who knows exactly what to say to make me want to slip my hand in my knickers - no matter where I am or what I am doing. It doesn't help that the picture he has on his msn profile makes him look so naughty and fuckable I cant help but think naughty, nasty thoughts when we're online. On more than one occasion I have cum extremely hard when chatting online to him.

Anyway it did get me thinking about where I have done it that isn't shall we say a traditional place for fucking i.e bed, sofa, floor, kitchen worktop, stairs, bath, shower, dinning room table - These are all pretty normal aren't they?

Anyway it got me thinking, firstly about how sorry I feel for those couples who have got to the point in their relationship where the only place they ever have sex is in bed.

How's it go? Bog standard missionary, her on top and then doggy to finish. How do I know this, possibly because I used to be stuck in a relationship with Mr 'I don't try anything new' for us and for a lot of couples out there sex means no variations no rampant need to rip each others clothes off in the kitchen and do it hard and fast up against the worktop.

It also got me thinking about what if not strange then alternative places I had done the deed. So I started going back over my sexual history - and believe me that was scary!

Having lost my virginity at 16 theres a fair few years of fucking to get through, about 5 or 6 girly holidays which potentially means 14 shags a time - doesn't everyone go on holiday and get fucked every which way for 2 weeks at some stage between the ages of 18 and about 25! Two summers of working abroad in my early 20's so that's potentially 8 weeks of shagging in distinctly bizarre places.

I tried to draw up a short list, but couldn't decide which was the most if not bizarre then odd or awkward places.

I came up with the usual suspects, swimming pool, jacuzzi, in the car, against the car, on the beach, on the front of a boat, on a train, pub toilets, chillout areas in clubs and hedges at raves, in fields at parties. I came up with so many that I really couldn't fit them all into one post, so I thought that this one could be a series of strange places!

Going back over my sexual past I thought as far back as I could and one of the first odd places I could come up with, had to be the alleyway leading down to the grave yard in my hometown. I was probably about 18 or 19 I had been in the pub with the girls. I can't remember why we were all home for the weekend, it was a hot night so it could have been a Bank Holiday or a drunken BBQ weekend - they happened a lot, still do in fact main difference is that we are all a lot older, can afford more booze and and we are defiantly no wiser!

We were in the pub, strangely the pub that I later worked in. Even then we all had filthy minds and had probably been discussing various sexual acts in the drunken way that girls do. During the course of the evening the local hottie - ironically on of the few blonde's I have ever got hot and wet in the knickers over, he caught my eye and I caught his!

We spent the rest of the night flirting - yes flirting I am quite good at that I do believe.

We had skirted the issue of whether we were going to fuck each other or not. Towards the end of the evening, I was standing at the bar waiting to be served, I think it was last orders (remember those days, when last orders was at 11.00 pm) the bar was rammed and he came up behind me put his hand down round my waist and grabbed my pussy through my jeans, whispering in my ear "That's mine later" well what could I say, I wanted him to undo my jeans there and then, sit me up on the bar and fuck me hard.

Immediately my mind started working overtime, where the hell was I going to fuck him? Taking him home to my parents house could be a mistake. Theres no way I was going to hold back, I wanted to give him a shag fest that he would remember for a while - even back then I was a bit of a naughty girl!

There was no way I was going back to his, he shared a flat with what seemed to be about 10 other blokes and back then there was no way I would consider any of them joining in! Getting the last round I went back to my friends and bingo the solution popped into my head, one of my oldest friends who was with us, parents were away, simple me and him, front room floor, job done. She was OK with it, she had pulled a hottie as well so she would be doing pretty much the same thing.

As we all left the pub, everyone did their usual and headed down the road, the High Street was packed with pissed people - god I miss 11.30 kick out, everyone meeting in town and messing about, traffic cones, climbing lamp posts the usual drunken antics of a Friday or Saturday night.

As we were all heading back to my friends house, we decided to stop and get some chips - drunk and young, has to be done.

Whilst we were queueing up his hands were wandering and so were mine, back in them days I thought nothing of sliding my hand hands inside a pair of jeans for a handful of cock, no matter where I was or who was watching (these days I'd be a little more subtle). But I guess I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist when it comes to sex!

Anyway wandering hands found one of the hardest biggest cocks I had, had the fortune to come across back then, wrapping my hand around it, I heard him groan in my ear, I realised that he was a lot hornier than I had thought and the thought of that cock in those jeans, was making me very wet at the thought of what we were going to get up to later. I knew that there was no way we were waiting to get back to my friends house.

All thoughts of chips were forgotten, both us us wanted sex and we wanted it now! Grabbing my hand he dragged me out of the take away and straight down the alleyway just down the road. Within seconds we were kissing, hard hot heavy kisses, as clothes were loosened and jeans undone. I didn't care that my jeans were round my ankles in a dirty alleyway and cared even less when they came off completely leaving me standing there in heels and my knickers his mouth working its way down my body.

Now I'm a girl that loves a good licking, but it wasn't the time or place, I wanted to feel that hard cock that I had got a feel of, inside me hard and fast. Quickly though I realised that we weren't actually that far down the alleyway and that anyone walking past could quite possibly see what we were doing! Now these days the idea of someone maybe seeing and watching (preferably with their cock in hand) would make it all the better, but back then I was a little more reserved, only a little, but enough to not want to be caught fucking someone down an alleyway. Grabbing his hand and stopping to pick up my jeans I dragged him further down the alleyway to find a nice metal railing fence and some grass, couldn't think for the life of me where we were but it seemed like a good idea.

Needless to say, within seconds I was being pushed forwards against the railings grabbing one in each hand as he slide his cock into me from behind, (yes a pattern is emerging, me and being fucked from behind LOVE IT). Immediately I was think wow this is big, the promise I had felt in the take-away was just a promise, it was huge. Huge indeed but so so good, pushing back onto his cock, taking as much as I could.

As my eyes adjusted to the moonlight, I could see that there was some kind of garden through the railings, a garden with lots of stone statues!

As he varied the angle slightly I could feel his cock rubbing on my g-spot, although back then I didn't know what it was possibly, but just knew it felt very very good. As he started fucking me harder and harder I let go of one of the railings to reach down and rub my clit, I was going to cum and I was going to cum hard!

As I started to cum I could hear my friends at the top of the alleyway calling us. At that point I couldn't have care less if they had all wandered down the alley and joined in.

As I started to cum hard, we both fell down onto our knees, him pumping hard feeling my pussy griping him hard, and pretty soon pulling out to shoot his load all over my arse cheeks.

As I caught my breath I looked right in front of me and noticed what was right in front of me just through the railings - a big stone with writing on it! When I was standing up it had been below my eye line, but now at ground level, there it was a bloody gravestone! The nice garden with its stone statues was the graveyard.

I could hear footsteps coming and my friends giggling, now I love my friends and since then we have on more than one occasion been in the same room as each other whilst being very very naughty (a holiday thing again) but back then I really didn't fancy the idea of them finding me on my knees by the graveyard with my cum running down my thighs and his cum splattered over my arse cheeks! I figured it would take them about 2 minutes to get down to where we were and I had to try and get my jeans back on over my shoes!

Needless to say I just about managed it, but it was still very obvious what we had been doing. Best Friends hottie looked at my hottie and gave him the laddish yeah nice one wink.

So yes I have over the years had sex in some unusual and sometime naughty places, and do you know what? I hope there will be many, many more.

Please god (and I don't ever ask him for much) don't ever let me become one of those woman who only has sex in bed! Please let Mr Right when he eventually turns up, be as sexually adventurous as me, and I'm not just talking 'hey darling lets do it with the lights on tonight' I mean the passion of looking at each other on a night out and thinking 'lets do it now.' Someone who will come up behind me in the kitchen and push me up against the worktop and fuck me hard, or help me out in the shop changing room, when my zip gets stuck!

xxxxxxx