Wednesday, 23 December 2009


As my old grandad used to say "If it's not broken don't try and fix it!'

If you have a design that's perfect, why try and change it or add to the range? What am I talking about, well silly subject but I'm thinking Rampant Rabbit's. Now this is a subject I feel very qualified to comment on, me and my rabbit until recently had the perfect relationship. The perfect orgasm every time, although I did start to realise 'hang on this is getting a bit like really standard, boring relationship sex!'

Go on admit it we have all had it, it's perfectly good, always concludes with a perfectly adequate orgasm, but before you even start you kind of know exactly what the next 20 mins or so is going to involve. The worst thing is you both think it's great sex, but then one day, usually when someone else makes you hormones zing, you realise 'damn where did the spark go?'

A few months ago I was devastated when when my Platinum Rabbit finally gave up on me, the spinney bit wouldn't spin anymore, them wonderful bunny ears were still doing the fast and furious magic thing, but with out the spinney bit, it just wasn't the same. So as soon as pay day came around I hit the shops ready to arm myself with a new one. Imagine my complete surprise when walking into the local Anne Summers to find that the Rampant Rabbit selection had indeed been breeding like rabbits and I now had a selection of bunnies to choose from. Oh the choices, thruster, g-pulse, platinum plus, elite, twister, wave, heart throb, three way, oh and the thruster delux!

Oh and a couple of them come in a slimmer version - which I found out after a very uncomfortable conversation with the sales assistant in the shop, is for women that are 'too tight' for the big boys! Apparently that's what will break it the quickest, for a few seconds there I thought 'yay I have a nice tight pussy' but then realised that it was more likely that after a few years of a lot of use the poor thing has given up!

So there I am standing there discussing the different pleasure each one offered and I have to say that even I who is usually very open about this kind of thing, found it a little bit wrong discussing my sex toy usage with a woman I had never even met before! My problem, I am the worst person at making decisions, I find it hard enough to choose between Thai or Indian take-away let alone being presented by a vast range of toys that are there solely for my pleasure, but in typical me fashion, rather than make a decision I left the shop without a new rabbit. I made do for a while, after all it's not like I don't have other 'friends' to play with, apparently according to some friends my toy collection is a little large!

But you find one you really like, that hits the spot every time and you stick with it! But every now and again you see something and thing lets give you a go, like picking up a hot man for a bit NSA fun, but after one go you think that was 'nice' but not great and you go back to what you know, ah the penny drops - I am having boring relationship sex with my sex toys!

So upon this realisation I thought, right time for a new breed of bunny, it's a shame you cant do some kind of try before you buy scheme, after all if you don't get on with it, it's not like you can give it to one of your friends. After a lot of thinking I settled for the thruster delux, main reason its doesn't have the new longer flicky ears that if you get them in the wrong position are more like a whip than is pleasurable and I kind of thought the trusting action could more accurately recreate the pleasures of an actual cock, I have yet to meet a man who can make his spin in circular motions!

All the time, wondering of I had made the right decision, should I have just stuck with the relationship rabbit, all the way home a battle going on in my head, should I have stuck with what I know, had I made the right decision to move on, what if I didn't like the new one, could I cope another month until the next payday to be re-united with the love of my sex life!

I couldn't wait to try out my new friend, but thought I should wait till I was really in the mood, for it's maiden voyage, a nice soak in the bath with a good book (once again thank you black lace) scrummy bath oils, followed by crisp clean sheets, blimey sounds like a first date! After all wouldn't want to set it up to fail.

So suitably relaxed, bathed and more than a little horny after reading best part of a book, oh and some deliciously naughty thoughts about someone who has had me hot under the collar for quite a while now, I retired with my new friend!

My first thought WOW WOW WOW, a little bit of lube and Robert's your mums brother! Total bliss, or so I thought, the next night again the same result, in no time at all the sounds coming from my bedroom would have rivaled the scene in When Harry met Sally - but without the faking obviously. As you can imagine I was a very happy bunny, pardon the pun, but I even nicknamed it Thumper, can you believe it like a stupid love struck teenager I had given my toy a pet name!

However like a grubby affair, the shine has quickly dulled and I find myself wishing I still had the boring relationship rabbit. What makes it worse is that my boring relationship rabbit doesn't exist anymore he got 'deluxed' and now has the ouchy whippy ears! Which brings me back to my initial thought.



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