According to quite a lot of men I've been chatting too lately, everyone is doing it. And if your not, hey apparently your really missing out ladies (the words of a man not me)! Are we really doing it, or is it just a naughty little fantasy in men's heads?
We all saw Sex in the City when the girls were in the back of the cab asking when did anal join the sexual menu, "Who wants to be the up the butt girl" I agree.
Oral was the dirty shag of the 80's and now a dirty shag has progressed to being back door action!
A good friend of mine(male)told me something which I found very telling in more than one way, "It's good, but not something you do with your Mrs" now the way I see it you can take that various ways:-
No. 1 Your wife/girlfriend wont do it, so that's why so many guys fantasize about it and end up having one night stands with the dirty shag that will! More about her later.
No. 2 They respect/love their wife/girlfriend too much to do it with her.
No. 3 They can't even imagine having to even ask their wife/girlfriend to do it, they wouldn't even have the courage to ask, just in case it meant that any kind of sex was off the cards for a while.
Hell I know guys that practically have to beg for a blow job, let alone ask their other half is up for a bit of anal!
The funniest thing I ever heard about it, was a the guy who I used to go out with and he said that it's exciting because it's naughty and not allowed. The best bit though had to be that when I said I wasn't really sure about it, he said that to him that's how he could tell if the woman really loved him, because love is giving all of yourself to someone! I bet his wife doesn't take it up the arse, or even get asked to.
At the time I did think to myself, OK then matey lets see how you would react to having my anatomically correct and life size cock dildo shoved repeatedly up your arse. Shame I didn't say that to him at the time, because now it would seem that he's quite up for that.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not adverse to anal play, fingers, tongues, toys, all OK by me, but the full cock in arse thing, really not sure about that, and despite public opinion (OK generally male) I know very few women who actually really want to do it/like doing it. I think they just think it's expected these days.
Whenever the subject gets bought up, my friends and I are very open about everything sexual and always have been. I have to say I nearly choked on my cuppa the other day when whilst sitting in my friends kitchen have a gossip with her kids playing she said "Do you think Sarah takes it up the arse? I think she does" Well there was tea all over the place and I very nearly wet myself laughing, so of course we then spent the next 20 minutes or so debating anal and whether we would do it.
Whenever we talk about it - yes it crops up in conversation between me and my friends quite a lot, especially on a boozy night out! I can't help but think back to a few years ago. Well OK a more than a few years possibly about 12 years ago when I worked part time in a pub - method in my madness, got pissed on the drinks that grateful punters bought me, and as I always ensured that my tits were well displayed the drinks bought for me were plentiful, and I got paid to do it as well - work that is not display my tits!
Anyway, one night I think I was a good way into a bottle of JD, a young man caught my attention, he was way too young for me (like I cared) but so beautiful looking, I just couldn't resist, strange for me (not), the strangest thing wasn't his age but that he was blonde and I just don't normally fancy blondes. To cut a long story short after a huge amount of superb flirting on both parts, he ended up doing me doggy in the cubicle of the men's toilets during my break - yeah classy I know.
As I was furiously rubbing my clit trying to cum before he in his youthful excitement, shot his load (needn't have rushed he performed very very well as it went) anyway I digress - as he got a little more daring and wrapped my hair round his hand (I think he'd been watching a lot of porn) he pulled my head up and there it was in permanent marker pen on the cubicle wall "Lisa Phillips, takes it up the ARSE."
The worse thing was that I knew her and also knew for certain that at least one of my male friends had fucked her in recent weeks. I couldn't quite believe it, she was quite new around and only 18 tops, was this what 18 year old girls were doing not to get a shag?
Of course female curiosity got the better of me, now I just wanted jailbait to hurry up and finish so I could go and grab the man in question and ask him if it was true. Part of me thought do I really want to know, could I still be his friend if he had been the one that did her up the arse and left a message to every other man that went in there that if they fancied it she would be up for it! It turned out that she had actually asked my friend if he wanted to and he had said no, I did wonder whether he was telling me the truth and he had but didn't want to admit it but hey, it was 1997 or 98 and back then anal was definitely a very dirty shag!
From a personal point of view, would I do it? Still undecided, as I said anal play yes please, nothing makes me cum harder than being fucked hard from behind with a guy fingering my arse whilst I rub furiously on my clit. How did I realise how much I liked this, well it would have to be the good old fashioned, alcohol fueled one night stand! Best part of it was he was a very good friends with my very protective big brother and so I knew that whatever we got up to, he couldn't tell a soul!
But do you know what there is a world of difference between a finger, or a slim smooth toy and the power and friction of a real cock, come on girls we all know how sore things can get when you've been at it for too long with guys who think they have the smallest cock in the world!
It seems to be becoming more and more a part of normal everyday sex, they even sell anal toys in store at Anne Summers now, you only used to be able to get things like that on their website!
Strangely the number of men who freely admit to liking a bit of anal intrusion is on the up as well - OK there's the whole prostate thing for them, maybe they have discovered that for themselves and think we must enjoy it just as much. One of my facebook friends has told me on more than one occasion that if he feels like treating himself and having a really naughty wank, he will stick a nicely lubed up finger up his arse. Makes him cum harder and longer than normal.
So the jury here is still out on anal, its certainly not something I would even contemplate with someone new and definitely not a first time with a new man kind of thing - no one wants to be Lisa Phillips do they!
Guys seem to want to do it, but girls are a little bit more reluctant - I wonder what that is? xxxx