Is it still fun?
Do I still need Lola in my life?
Is it time to let the real me have a little more fun?
Questions that have been floating about in my head over the last few days, mainly because they have been put there by someone!
Thought provoking online chats, chats that have left my pussy throbbing and my head pounding, finally someone who has been inquisitive enough to look further than Lola from the outset. No weeks of flirting and getting to know each other, or rather them getting to know Lola, just BANG straight in there why do I feel the need to hide behind a persona when I am clearly a very special person (his words not mine, before you think I'm getting big headed).
So as I said in my post on Sunday I've fallen into this trap before though, let myself get caught up in the whirlwind of that first flirtation and those first naughty exchanges. That hasn't turned out too well, so where to go from here? What I have realised is that what I have failed to accept up until now, is that the vast majority of these people no matter how many questions they ask, the hours spent online flirting and getting to know each other no matter what I do, or reveal about my real self, some of these people no matter how I feel about them, will NEVER see past Lola and never see me as anything but Lola and why should they, that was what attracted them in the first place, whether it be through facebook or through the blog, it was Lola with her legs or tits, that attracted them to me, so why would they want to see anything but Lola.
This man has he got under my skin! In a way that hasn't happened for a while, the difference being this time he is very keen to merge the fantasy with the reality (arghhh scary). This is someone who makes me smile and laugh out loud, but also makes me want to be very very naughty indeed. I am amazed that in a very short time he has got into my head - which is definitely the quickest way to get into my knickers.
What is it they say that the largest erogenous zone that we humans have is the mind!
That's the beauty of modern technology, msn, AIM, email and text messaging have made it possible for us to make each other cum hard, fuck each others brains out, without actually being in the same room, or without actually meeting each other in some cases.
Am I hiding behind Lola, she was only ever supposed to be around for a few months to set up Mr X and then she would disappear quietly and I would go back to being me!
I'm not saying it's time to go back to just being me, but is it time to start merging the two a little more?
The last few posts have been a lot more personal, a fact that a few friends have picked up on and have said they preferred them, because they are a little more 'me' and these are people I have got to know very well.
So I think that inadvertently Lola is becoming a little more me, but what about real life can real life become a little more Lola?
Can I take the risk, try and see if I can merge the two. Two things are certain, my face and my name are still mine. Lola, will forever be faceless, those who have seen my face are the privileged few, those that know my name even fewer and that's the way I like it.
So can I take the risk, still not sure but a few more thought provoking chats may help me to come to the decision.
Sorry deep and not at all naughty again - don't worry I'll give you something dirty soon.