Sunday, 17 January 2010


Question - How do you know if it's right to take that massive jump and tell someone what you want?

Now I am the first to admit it, I am so crap at the man/woman thing, I can talk the talk, but actually pulling my finger out and talking a leap into the unknown, fuck that I'm retreating into my hard shell of sarcasm!

If you've got something good, even if it's not the norm, do you go ahead and risk spoiling that by actually asking for what you really want!

Now I'm not talking anything kinky or even that dirty. Just real! But how I go about that is another thing, I just can't manage it. Maybe it's because it's the real me and not 'Lola' she would have no problem, she would just come straight out with it and say 'enough with the messing about, lets get sweaty!' But there in lies my problem, Lola does no strings dirty encounters and to be honest I don't know whether I can anymore.

It takes me back to my blog post about One Night Stands, there is a one night stand and then there is the so called 'fuck buddy' situation, both of which I've tried and although a proper one night stand is harmless, and by proper I mean you meet someone in a bar/club, you go home and have a night of dirty sex and that's it. No exchange of phone numbers, sometimes not even an exchange of last names, just good old fashioned dirty fun! Then you have the fuck buddy situation, anyone that has managed this I take my hat off to, congratulations your more woman than me!

Possibly even more than I did before I one hundred percent believe that there is no such thing as no strings sex with someone you know well, and someone that knows you well, who can anticipate what your thinking and can even predict your musical taste. How can you possibly have no strings sex with someone like that?

And there in lies my problem, how do you get through that, when two people quite obviously want each other, but both have totally different needs from the other, when one of you is only into no strings sex and the other one is pretty sure they wouldn't want just that. Is it worth spoiling what you already have, which is pretty dammed good if you know its doomed to failure from the start!

The sad thing, this has knocked my confidence, I have found myself sitting here thinking am I no longer sexy, why isn't this bloke gagging to gt in my knickers! This week I started coming to the conclusion that maybe enough's enough, could it be time to accept it and move on, a girl can only try for so long! I'm a determined girl who usually gets what I want, but could this be defeat!

Now I've always been a little dubious about horoscopes and stuff but I started reading mine on facebook of all places and it is so scarily accurate that I now read it religiously. And it's possibly been the cause of these negative feelings, combined of course with my hyper negative best friend, who has not understanding of how I can invest so much time into someone I've never even met.

The last few days have been particularly spooky I think here's a few highlights:-


Single? The situation you have been stressing about has consumed too much energy with too little progress. It may be time for you to move on and get the fresh start you need.


Single? Time to reassess some of your own goals and priorities, and to say that you have been barking up the wrong tree is a bit of an understatement, no?


Have you been busy projecting your own expectations on a certain situation, or is it possible that you have not been projecting them enough? Whether you are single or attached, you can not expect progress in your love affairs until all significant parties are fully aware of where you stand.

As you can imagine these combined with the weirdness of my mind in the last few days have been weighing hard on my mind.

And even after days of deliberation, I still don't know whether to jump or not!


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